100 Farmers

My house is empty

2011-07-29T11:17:00.003-05:00

Bored, weepy, tired, discombobulated. Should I post something? DH says...dooo eet. It will be cathartic. I don't know. Had a hysterectomy two weeks ago. Took everything. No hormone treatment for now. Oh well. Didn't need that stuff anyway. Until I started crying. Over everything. Am healing well but still not able to go anywhere and even doing dishes wiped me out yesterday. And my dog died Wednesday. He was fine at 9 and at 11 was acting tired and died being carried into the vet's office by my son and husband. I am still looking for him. The house is too quiet w/o the jangle of his collar and now I can't tell when someone comes in the door. I hate getting out of bed because he's not there for the go outside and then do the biscuit treat trick. 4 o'clock rolls around and I stand there sniffling because the dog bowl doesn't need to be filled. I can barely stand to go out the back door because he's not there brushing past me to go outside and clicking across the deck. He's not there at my feet tangled around my computer chair and not lying watch next to my daughter's bed when I check on her. I can't even talk to people eon the phone because I cry too much. If I don't get out of this house I may go crazy but I can't drive, walk far or even put on regular clothes hardly. It's just quiet. Even with one kid blaring the radio and the other on the Wii. I miss my dog terribly.

Update....a bit dated

2010-11-19T22:20:00.003-06:00

Overwhelming..maddening..exhausting...satisfying...exhilarating...confusing...lost...found....that describes my first couple of months teaching Advanced Placement World History. I really wish that I had come back here and had been documenting what a journey it has been. I am not sure if there is anything that could have prepared me for the "I've dropped the reins..the horse is tearing towards the cliff...whoa...omg...omg....here we go...ahhhhh" ride that it has been. It is a totally different beast from regular classes but don't let anyone tell you that you're lucky to have these classes because they're easier. Oh no no. Now yes, I get the kids going with a prompt, lesson or project and it is amazing to watch them brainstorm, create and just take things to a whole new level. It's humbling at times how smart, hardworking and creative these kids can be. But there are time when I do not feel as smart, hardworking and creative as them and I am sometimes forced to bluff because I am relearning and sometimes learning this stuff along with them. I really should learn to play poker again(well...if I had time) because I can bluff with the best. I'm even a good bullshitter too. I'm not proud. One silly thing but major to me at the time that threw me for a loop and blew up my confidence like a first year teacher is the fact that in my district, kids can drop your class after the first six weeks. So...just about the time I learned my students' names and got some sort of routine down...suddenly there are empty desks and the whole dynamics change. Now, some of the kids who dropped..they were really way over their heads and I kinda breathed a sigh of relief. But I gotta say, my feelings were a bit hurt by the kiddos who were solid B students heading toward A's who dropped also. I was bereft. The 11th grade AP US history tried to convince me that it was for the best but I felt rejected. Until one day, I was moping around after another kid dropped and one of my students said, "Ms. 100 Farmers, don't worry about it. It's not about you. They like you. We like your class. They just didn't want to do the readings." And suddenly, I may not have had both reins in my hands but at least I was veering away from the cliff. I'm not going to lie and say I'm not wholeheartedly looking forward to winter break, but the whole history "geek" feeling of really getting into the hows and the whys is making dormant brain cells come to life. I may not be riding on an educational thoroughbred at the moment but this cattle pony seems to be veering well out of the ditches.

(Not so) Floating trip

2010-07-19T11:52:00.003-05:00

Kinda amusing that my last post talks about that which doesn't kill you because I tried my darnedest to do it to myself recently. To make a long story short..when floating down the Frio river and hitting rapids:
1. Let go of inner tube next to you if it does indeed pull you under the water and flips you over
2. Instead of worrying about your expensive sunglasses(which you should not have worn in the first place)..head for surface of water
3. Do not try to surface under large group of inner tubers
4. Do not panic and attempt to breathe water
5. Even though you are in the water..floundering like a fish does NOT help
6. Even if your bathing suit bottoms are around your ankles....mouth to mouth is more embarrassing...head to land quickly
7. Help from strangers is always life affirming even if they are first graders
8. A float trip can still be quite enjoyable once you are finished belching up river water

June stands for adjusting

2010-06-10T16:23:00.002-05:00

That which doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Meh. If stronger means ulcers and a generally pissy attitude. No seriously, have weathered another year of teaching and if I'm technically not stronger, my roots are dug in deeper at least. I was blessed with students that I truly enjoyed and an inspiring student teacher the second semester. Even with the continual torrential bursts of unprofessional behavior from my supposed "coteacher", I can still say it was a year of growth. Now, knowing that my"coteacher" has a new assignment next year and that I get to teach the AP classes, also tends to temper whatever residual pissiness I may have from our last couple of classes together. I have achieved my first summer sunburn and even though I accidentally nearly drowned myself in the Comal River on Monday, it's all good. We are"adjusting" here. I'll leave it at that.

My Mantra for Winter

2010-01-31T23:23:00.001-06:00

Memorial?

2010-01-05T17:46:00.003-06:00

I don't have a tv nor receive a newspaper anymore. I know that at times I am probably missing some important news but I've found it quite liberating w/o the constant harangue of sensationalism and hyped mediocre news. I was horrified though on our first day back from break to get news that one of our juniors died a block from school in a car wreck the Tuesday before Christmas. He hadn't been one of my students but I knew him and would have definitely attended the memorial service. Nothing was communicated through email or our phone call tree that we use. I had to be told by one of my usual morning visiting student and didn't receive any news from administration until it was mentioned in our weekly email bulletin along with news about our usual faculty meeting on Thursday. No moment of silence, no mention of memorial..nothing except for "Counselors are available for students having difficulty with grief." I know that it's the week before semester exams and that students can be unduly influenced emotionally by things around them but it just seems so cold and uncaring for the day to pass w/o an acknowledgement of the loss of this young man. I don't know exactly what the school could have done but this impersonal action is one thing about my large "recognized" suburban school that I find "unacceptable".

My first Literary Love

2009-11-06T11:17:00.003-06:00

I realized that I probably needed a followup to my previous post. This is the first book that I absolutely treasured. I wonder sometimes if my animal rescue tendencies may spring from my love of this book. Now the first book I remember reading on my own was Alice in Wonderland at the age of four. No, I was no prodigy. Just bored. But it certainly started something. This was way before cable and the only cartoons were over by 8 in the morning and only on in the afternoon from 3-5. In our small small town, there were very few kids my age and my brother was mostly a squalling annoyance at that point. I was blessed by a grandmother who compulsively bought books for her grandchildren, especially Newberry Classics. Oh, and lots of ice cream too. FTW. My youngest and I spent a wonderful Friday night at the bookstore last week. I couldn't think of a better way to spend it. We also got ice cream of course :)

Read It Day

2009-11-03T12:22:00.004-06:00

Today, in every single class, we get to spend the first 20 minutes reading. Knowing my kids, I grabbed a mighty armload of books this morning from the library for those students who were inevitably going to walk in w/o a book despite all the announcements and fanfare. I also found a gem for myself there. Ironically, it is about a discovered book. Here is an excerpt:

Once, in my Father's bookshop, I heard a regular customer say that few things leave a deeper mark on a reader than the first book that finds its way into his heart. Those first images, the echo of words we think we have left behind, accompany us throughout our lives and sculpt a place in our memory to which, sooner or later-no matter how many books we have read, how many worlds we discover, or how much we learn or forget-we will return.

Zen and the Art of Powerpoint Maintenance

2009-10-08T14:15:00.004-05:00

I was so proud of my PowerPoint presentation. It was visually stunning. I had Indian Buddhas, Chinese Buddhas, Yin and Yang symbols overflowing into pictures of golden temples and crouching Chinese dragons. I was precise in my language, organized with my notes and primed to teach my eager students. "Bwahaha"cackled Murphy the God of Perversity in his divine jealousy towards the attention I was paying towards other beliefs. It flopped. If there had been tomatoes, I would have looked like I'd had a V-8 poured over my head. It wasn't ugly. They were awake and staring at me but no brain cells were involved in synaptic processes. It was like Zombieland in my classroom. Without the cannibalism of course. So, I punted. That lovely powerpoint went back to the dens of my flashdrive and we read and highlighted in my other classes. Or as I paraphrased: "we collected information". But today, a teacher's dream. We took that information and we collaboratively synthesized the data and we drew conclusion and we restated the information. In other words, we worked in groups, we took quotes and decided which philosophical school they belonged to and we rewrote it in our own words. It was awesome. Absolutely a great teaching moment where I just facilitated and nudged them along while they taught it to each other. Was all the time I spent on the PowerPoint a waste of energy? No. It helped me to refresh my own knowledge of the subject and more importantly, it put me back on the "Dao" or "the Way" that I know kids can learn better. It's all good.

The Tao of Pooh

2009-10-07T13:00:00.002-05:00

Everything has its own place and function. That applies to people, although many don't seem to realize it, stuck as they are in the wrong job, the wrong marriage, or the wrong house. When you know and respect your Inner Nature, you know where you belong. You also know where you don't belong.
Benjamin Hoff

"The Tao of Pooh"

A Teachable Moment

2009-09-30T12:38:00.003-05:00

Today I was lecturing about the Aryan Invasions into India and the rise of Hinduism. Students always get into invasions and when you throw in religion too, they always seem to pay a little more attention. Most of our focus was on my shoes however. Because, according to one of my favorite students known here as J, "Ms. 100 Farmers could have conquered India with those shoes that she is wearing". Somehow the use of iron in superior weaponry and comfortable utilitarian black flats are just what you need for empire building. So, I went with it and I showed them the conquering path that my shoes and I followed through the Hindu Kush mountains and my shoes' elitist influence in establishing the caste system in India. It did get a little surreal when my shoes' bad actions in life caused such bad karma that they were reincarnated as cheap flip flops. This may have been the funniest lesson I've ever presented. Hopefully they will actually remember all of the facts and not just about footwear reincarnation.

Having a Window Changes Everything

2009-09-28T12:34:00.014-05:00

Sometimes

2009-09-28T11:37:00.001-05:00

Sometimes there are things in our life
that aren't meant to stay.
Sometimes change may not be what we want.
Sometimes change is what we really need.
And sometimes saying goodbye
is the hardest thing you think you'll ever have to do,
but sometimes it's saying 'hello again' that breaks you down
and makes you the most vulnerable person you'll ever know.
Sometimes change is too much to bear,
but most of the time change
is the only thing saving your life.

First Day

2009-08-18T19:40:00.003-05:00

First official day back and am horribly frustrated because I want to jump in and get everything ready but my body is not letting me. My stupid surgery site keeps reminding that all is not quite well but only after I've done something like climbed up on a desk or pushed file cabinets down the hallway. It's nice being downstairs with the rest of the History department but am already missing my buddy upstairs. Suddenly though, I am being patted on the back and a part of the department after two years of being hid up in the attic with the rest of the 9th grade teachers. I'm a bit worried about the teacher that switched teaching assignments with me because she seems a bit freaked out and lost. I'm kinda stuck in an awkward position because I want to help her as much as possible but probably need to hint more to her that I'm teaching a new subject also. I just don't have time to spend every moment with her when I'm trying to get ready myself. I am throwing every piece of paper, powerpoint and book that I have at her. Trying to spin it positively though and thinking of it as good training for the student teacher who shows up in two weeks. One definite negative note: am assigned the icky co-teacher from last year again. Methinks she is not too pleased either. One final positive note: My new room is long enough that I can put a desk for her at the other end from mine.

Cat Prejudice

2009-07-24T09:31:00.003-05:00

There are silent victims in our house. Some are miniature, some are the size of baby dolls, one is even big enough to cause some serious damage if chucked at a window but all are daily targets of my cats. My cats hate My Little Pony. Pink, Purple, Sparkly Rainbow colored, bubble gum scented....oddly enough, they don't discriminate in their prejudice against these poor ponies. They are all attacked, tossed and mauled on a regular basis. These are hard plastic toys but are still dragged and kicked around the room more than a masochistic catnip mouse could ever dream of. I don't understand it and find it a tad bit disturbing. They're such pretty little ponies. What did they ever do to incur such cat disdain?

July

2009-07-24T00:43:00.002-05:00

And What Cannot be Mended Must be Borne."

The First Weekend of the Summer

2009-06-06T21:41:00.003-05:00

The moon is beautiful tonight. The lightning bugs are doing their darndest to outshine it. Have spent most of the day sleeping like the dead which is obviously something I needed. Made some gut wrenching decisions the past couple of days and living with the consequences is like walking in a fog. Am either feeling relieved, happy, sad or sick to my stomach at various intervals. I think God has a way of sending us messages and I've often felt that touch at various times of crisis in my life. Today we were driving down the road and were horrified to see an elderly woman laying on the ground next to her car. She was calling for her husband who had gone into their house. Both of them lived in assisted living and had come to get their mail. He was barely able to get around himself and there was no way he would have been able to help her get up from the ground. We basically had to almost carry her back to the car as she unable to support herself. Come to find out after introductions, that he knew my in-laws from the VFW Hall but seemed unaware that my father-in-law had passed away three years ago today. We were there at the right time at that moment. It feels like I was supposed to get something from the incident. Either some message about couples or helping each other but I haven't quite figured it out yet. I'm trying God..I'm trying.

Thursday's Thirteen

2009-05-28T14:38:00.017-05:00

Thirteen Things I'd Enjoy on a Trip back in Time

1. ...running through the grass barefoot in the light of the front porch with my cousins. Back before the invasion of mosquitos we have now, we only had to worry about chiggers and the occasional toy we couldn't see in the dark.

2....taking a trip to town to go to the bank with my Mama Pat. The tellers always called her Miss Pat and gave out those little square boxes of chiclets. A trip to the bank also meant we were picking up Granny's Chicken (no, not Grandy's) and were gonna snack on hot rolls on the way home.

3...I'd corral my grandmother in her kitchen and tickle her until she gave me her Sugar Cookie recipe. She had the recipe in her head and never wrote it down. I loved those cookies.

4...Halloween in our neighborhood in North Dallas in the late 70's. Herds of kids running everywhere...makeshift haunted houses at least four to each block...no worries about the bogeyman then.

5....drive around in my dad's silver blue 1966 Mustang. Man, I wish I had that car.

6....roller skating at the Roller Rink on a Saturday night listening to Cheap Trick, The Knack, Queen and ELO....everyone fast skate..lol...hitting the ground was a lot less scarier back then.

7....Make a pot of percolated coffee for my Daddo early in the morning. Sit on the back porch with him and listen to the birds.
8...relive the excitement of the looking through the Sear's Christmas Toy Catalog.
9....Eating a real Banana Bike....Laffy Taffy's just aren't the same.

10...Go to the old Six Flag's which still had six separate historical themes and animal trashcans that roared when you put trash into them. Don't miss the scary huge slide with the burlap sacks though.

11....Go back and visit my 4th period from my first year of teaching. Loved that class, loved those kids. Of course, they're all 25-27 now. Will always be junior high students in my mind.

12....Going to the Blue Ridge Rodeo. Run around with herds of kids, scarf down popcorn and dance around the cars when the band played later.

13....A week at Lake Texoma on our old boat with my Mom, Dad and even brother and sister. I would love to be able to spend a week like that out on the islands with no worries..just fishing and reading.

Bare Walls

2009-05-26T12:20:00.003-05:00

I have to admit that I teacher-geek out every new school year. I like decorating my classroom. I enjoy putting up bulletin boards. I spend an inordinate amount of time lining my door and whiteboards with decorative borders. I have kitschy stuffed animals and large cardboard monkeys that serve no purpose but to amuse the kids. My room tends to look more like an elementary classroom than a traditional high school one but it makes me happy and the kids like it so its not gonna change. Today though, I walked into a room with bare walls and felt a flash a joy. For once in 12 years of teaching, I will have my room ready to go before the last day of school. I will not be the last teacher on the 3rd floor still sorting papers after everyone has left. Those empty walls echo the success of a year of education and the promise of a summer to come. I never thought a empty wall full of mangled staples could be so beautiful.

Twenty Years Ago

2009-05-21T10:06:00.009-05:00

Twenty years ago today I packed up my Mustang and drove to Austin in a split decision to put a kibosh on the path I was traveling and to at least try something new. I had dropped out of college a year and a half before and had been working as an Assistant Mgr at a fast food restaurant owned by a very evil man where I was working 60+ hours a week shifts. I looked like a greasy, curly haired zombie and was in a pretty unhealthy relationship with an older guy. When my best friend offered her spare room during her last summer semester at UT, it wasn't that hard of a decision to drop my keys off at work, blow a quick sayonara kiss at the old dude and start throwing stuff in the trunk. It's hard to believe that it's been twenty years and also funny to think what might have been if I had not moved. You see, there was this guy that my friend had written about several times in her letters to me. He was in her photography classes and lived in the apartment behind hers and she claimed that he was probably the smartest guy that she had ever met. She had failed to mention how cute he was though. The first thing we did when I got into town was to buy groceries. Coming back from the parking garage with groceries that first hour in Austin, I met that smart guy who would become my husband four years later. Honestly, if you can't call it love at first sight then it really was an instantaneous flash of WOW. Within a week and several bowls of my tasty guacamole we were in a tempestuous romance that survived a year and a half of long distance romance when I went to North Texas and he finished up at UT. Luckily, this was before widespread email and I was wooed by the black and white postcard photos that he sent me constantly. I'm sure my mailman must have enjoyed reading them. I still have every single one stored in the picnic basket that we used to use. Now twenty years, six cats, two dogs and two kids later, I have a lot of "used to" memories. Things aren't so great right now. Too many "used to" memories turned into "should have" things that we've missed out on and it's hard to determine which path we're going to be heading down now. But honestly, I wouldn't have changed most of the past twenty years and can't possible put a value on our kids and even our cats. He is still the smartest person I know even though he's turned into the absent-minded professor and I still get a flash of "wow" when he's at sweetest and especially goofiest. I don't know where the next twenty years will find us but I can't pass up the chance to look at that paths that I could have taken taken and celebrate that I took the right one.

Cousins

2009-05-20T14:53:00.006-05:00

When the cousins get together there is much shrieking, screaming, wailing and stomping. No, there are no fits being thrown. It just seems that these kids bring out the internal banshee in each other and the noise and chaos level goes through the roof. In this old picture, the four of them were actually wrestling on the top bunk of a bunk bed. Thank goodness it was the sturdy iron version. I have found that tossing them out in the backyard is always the best way to go as four kids running along down wood floors can make the whole house shake and a shaking house is no place for my collection of pottery. Bedrooms are often left in shambles during the cousin visits and for some reason, they always seem to end up hanging out on my bed. So much for making the bed. Paper plates, macaroni and cheese and hot dogs are always welcome and even though I hate the waste of plastic bottles, Gatorade bottles save me the hassle of tracking down missing glasses. The cousins live three and a half hours away and they seem to age faster than my own kids as I feel like we never see them. Puberty is slapping the two older cousins which I was a bit concerned about because we know how snotty teenagers can get. No worries, they're just bigger but still as loud. One just has a deeper voice and the other is suddenly much taller than her male cousin. I never thought I'd miss the playing of that stupid "Billy Bass'' song over and over again when they were younger but I do. My brother added a new cousin to the mix yesterday and I'm happy that we've got a baby in the family again. A big welcome to the newest cousin. I'm looking forward to hearing you shriek through my house too.

Why isn't it Friday blog for Thursday

2009-05-14T11:38:00.006-05:00

You know it's going to be a good day when you end up with a large map of South Asia imprinted across your left breast before the first bell even rings.

On a side note: our new printer ink is very cheap and does not dry on transparencies.

Another side note: am mourning the loss of my favorite blue Oxford Shirt...am celebrating new shirt map of Asia

Teacher Appreciation Week

2009-05-05T11:42:00.004-05:00

The Communication classes are giving speeches in the auditorium this week to honor teachers during Teacher Appreciation Week and this is one that I received. I love this big lug of a kid.

I am here today to honor a teacher

who gets to the point

and doesn't act like a preacher

she is nice and laid back

and gives help to us all

she doesn't attack

She'll help if you fall

she gives time to do work

if you are absent one day

but if you act like a jerk

she'll just say, "Get out of my way"

some students can be stubborn

not doing their work

but she always keeps her cool,

not going berserk

this is in honor of Ms. 100 Farmers

You're my favorite teacher, teaching more than just the book(rhymes with my real last name).

Last Day of TAKS Monitoring Musings

2009-05-01T11:29:00.001-05:00

Ten things that passed through my mind while aimlessly...I mean diligently staring at my testing students:
10. Since I've had to take down every carefully prepared display in my room for this stupid test...I wonder if I can get away with packing up my room even though there's a month left?
9. OMG, who drew the large picture of the male genitalia on my wall and how long has it been there?
8. These kids must have brought at least 40 bags of hot Cheetos between them. Man, I need to buy stock in that company.
7. I wonder if I can Cheetos to sponsor my blog since they're getting free advertising right now?
6. How many times am I gonna have to tell Mr. Skeleton shirt kid to wake up?
5. Wow, that one kid busted through that test. He even highlighted and eliminated answers. He might know more history than me.
4. Huh, the kid who threatened to blow up the school during the last TAKS test must still be at alternative school.
3. I wonder if the kids will notice if I start sneaking M & M's out of my desk drawer?
2. Aw man, who dislocated the legs on my squishy desk cow toy?
1. Hmm, how much trouble will I get into for throwing a cow leg at a sleeping student?

Thursday's Thirteen: the PG version

2009-04-30T13:22:00.004-05:00

1) If you had $100 to spend on yourself, what would you get?.. The full works Hairstyle and massage
2) Something you do when nobody is around? (talk to yourself, sing, etc.).. Dance in my classroom during my off period
3) Most embarassing moment?...Walked out of teacher's restroom with skirt stuck in pantyhose...mooned one of my students
4) Glass half empty or half full? Half empty....trying to fill it up
5) Something you've always wanted to do but haven't....Tour Great Britain
6) What did you want to be when you grew up? A teacher....of course
7) What's your guilty little pleasure? Godiva truffles
8) Wine or beer? Beer....Shiner Bock in a bottle or Bass if on tap
9) Devil or angel on your shoulder? Angel....judging from guilt trips....my grandmother is my guardian angel
10) How important is communication in a relationship? Can't work w/o....not doing such a good job myself
11) You've had a bad day at work..what would you like when you get home? A deep standing hug and a bath
12) Significant other has had a bad day at work..what would you do for him/her? Massage shoulders and make warm cookies
13) Favorite tv show? Star Trek :Next Generation or Buffy the Vampire Slayer

10 Things to do while Hall monitoring during the TAKS

2009-04-28T12:29:00.004-05:00

10. Redo the songs on your Blog twenty thousand times
9. Harass your brother and sister with texts about your parents
8. Check out reviews on kitchen equipment you can't afford on Cook's Illustrated Website....drool...La Creuset Dutch oven...
7. Pat your big fluffy hair constantly hoping that it calms down
6. Grade those straggle of papers that you have left from the weekend's grading that you should have put off until today.....doh
5. Update your resume....don't want it to be too fluffy either
4. Research Swine Flu Symptoms....eyeball coughing student going to restroom
3. Go raid the teacher's lounge again for some leftover fruit from this morning....yummy orange slices
2. Push back your cuticles on your fingernails...admire your pretty pedicure and wonder why you didn't get a manicure
1. Try to feel grateful for this moment since you'll be staring at testing students for four hours each day for the next three days

Springtime a la Dallas

2009-04-28T10:07:00.007-05:00

Shampoo-conditioning for curly hair +
Deep Conditioner for curly hair +
Hair Serum for curly hair +
Mousse for soft curls +
Slow Diffusing dryer +
Hair milk for flyaways +
Large Hair curlers in hair for 15 minutes =
Soft shiny curls hanging on my shoulders
---------divided by------------
Five minutes in warm deep fog of North Texas
= equals =
big fuzzy mess of a HAIRDO

........sigh

http://postsecret.blogspot.com/

2009-04-26T22:15:00.004-05:00

I used to read this blog religiously every Sunday. No pun intended. I was happy to find it again this morning. Some of the secrets have hit pretty close to home at times. I find it often makes very powerful statements about the things that we choose not to look back upon. The hardest ones are the things that have a way of sneaking out despite our best intents to deny or ignore them.

Thursday's Thirteen: Hodge Podge of Firsts

2009-04-23T12:01:00.005-05:00

1. First Car-Bronze 1973 Capri 6 cylinder....she was fast...if my parents had known where she was being driven
2. First Boyfriend-My brother called him Jim Bob...dated for over a year...6 foot 4...blue eyes...still friends but he still treats me like I'm 16..most annoying
3. First College-Texas Tech University-Man I hate Lubbock but loved that school
4. First School I taught at: ooh....not gonna say but the kids called it Booty Story.
5. First Concert: So sad....Loverboy...lol....best concert....John Mellencamp/Willy Nelson/Neil Young at Farm Aid at Texas Stadium
6. First job: Short order cook at an Arcade...awesome job...cheese fries and free game time
7. First Marriage: mustached moron....lol....found a new name for him
8. First Child: The boy..Sean Bobbie...Seangalongadingdong...Thawn
9. First Birthday remembered: Four years old, Snow White Cake with all Seven dwarfs....nearly beat up Michael McCollough when he tried to walk off with Dopey
10. First Best Friend: Vesna Slavanovitch....try writing that as a first grader...from what used to be Czechoslovakia...what was she doing in podunk Texas in the 70's? good question..
11. First Wake up Call-head first over the handle bars, head first into railroad tracks, a week in hospital....slow down
12. First time really on my own: Summer of 1989...Austin, Texas...met the significant other the first night there...great apartment right down the road from UT
13. First Album bought with own money:(actually two) Rumors by Fleetwood Mac and Against the Wind Lake by Bob Seger...no shame there

Remembering

2009-04-20T09:40:00.012-05:00

Ten years ago today, I was in my second year of teaching in an inner-city school. To call it like my kids, it was very ghetto. All of the teachers were the same ethnicity and extremely tight with each other except for those of us that taught English as a Second Language and we were all another ethnicity and mostly brand new to the school. Right before school got out, my principal got on the intercom and made an announcement that we would be having an emergency meeting after school. By that time, news had trickled in about what was happening in Columbine, CO and a sense of disbelief was quite high among teachers and students. It was honestly a relief when that bell rang and the kids walked out the door. We all filed into the cafeteria so quietly and somber. Now my principal was a very very religious man. He preached a lot at his church and sometimes his lectures to us sounded more like gospel Sunday sermons. He came in a little after us and walked up to the microphone as we all waited for some type of emergency protocol or words of comfort. Instead we got this, "What is wrong with you white people? You never hear of black kids shooting up a school". Not exactly words of wisdom and the racial aspect was a tad bit discomforting. Oh well. Everything about that school was a little bit discomforting: teachers who couldn't or didn't teach, kids literally running down the hallways during every class, water running down my chalkboard when it rained, pigeon droppings blowing through the air conditioning vents, coaches pocketing candy sales, gang shooting out the front windows every weekend. It was so dysfunctional that I was the only ESL person who came back after my first year from what used to be an eight person department. The principal had neglected to go to personnel and had not hired anyone to replace those who had left. This is how I became department head as a 2nd year teacher. A department with 300 students that didn't speak English and one teacher. Good times. Ok, I've totally digressed here. It was horrible to be a teacher 10 years ago on April 20th. The rest of the school year was kind of a tense blur and there definitely was another humongous sigh of release when that final bell rang on the last day of school. The reason I say it was so horrible is that for me there were so many questions about why that tragedy happened, what could have been done and a lingering thought that it could happen at my school. For my principal to make that comment, besides sounding stupid, he was just being plain naive. Looking at my classes today, I see several kids diagnosed as bipolar, kids with obvious gang affiliation, kids with drug issues, kids with lack of any parental supervision issues.....on and on....but I gotta say, I don't see potential killers, I just see kids. I see too many kids however. I see potential issues that can't possibly be addressed. The school is huge and my classes way too large. I hate to think that I lump kids into categories but I know sometimes my impressions of a certain kid on a specific day can be fleeting with so many things to do and so many students to teach. I think there were too many variables at play to pinpoint school or class size as the reason why the tragedy happened in Columbine. But looking at my classes today and thinking about my kiddos back then, I do wish that my classes were smaller and I was able to spend more time with them. I wish that I was better able to get to know them better. I also hope that all that happens today in all the schools everywhere is just remembering and reflecting upon the past.

Forgotten roses

2009-04-19T18:48:00.007-05:00

It's been a very dry spring here. At one point, we were almost 12 inches behind in rainfall. It finally rained this past weekend and today is beautiful. The sky is a beautiful blue and even though its a bit windy, the birds are just singing like they are performing. I have several rose bushes that I have been neglecting in my backyard but they have managed to throw out some lovely blooms despite a lack of fertilizer and pruning. I took some pillows out to the swing this afternoon and just lay there listening to the birds and smelling my forgotten roses. All I could seem to do today.

Regrets

2009-04-15T22:43:00.003-05:00

"Something you need most might be something you turn away from, something you turn away from might be something you regret, and something you regret, in the end, might cost you the one chance you ever had." Brian Judge

The Little Tea Shop

2009-04-08T13:12:00.006-05:00

Neglected to post this earlier and am kicking myself. Our last morning in Memphis, we stumbled out of bed late and settled for lunch since breakfast was obviously on its way out. Coming back from Beale Street the day before, we had spied this funky little restaurant on a side street leading to the Mississippi and were kinda intrigued by the shabby charm of its exterior. One thing I definitely have found is that local quirky restaurants are always better than any chain restaurant and that shabby can sometimes equate tasty goodness. Oh my lord, forget tasty goodness, the food was so good that it made ya want to rub it all over your face. Who knew that simple boiled squash could make a magic moment between you and your eating partner as you both smile through first bites. The food is honestly that good. The peach cobbler was divine. If I favorably compare it to my grandmother's, then you know it is good. Our waitress was casual but efficient, the owner was very charming. It was such a great experience that it made me want to stay in Memphis just so I could show up for next daily special. Go there. Now. Yummmmmm.

Aargh!!!

2009-04-07T13:13:00.005-05:00

I think these stupid allergies have hot-wired my brain. All morning long, all I could smell was strawberry jello...now my stupid classroom reeks of Fruit Loops.

Burning Rubber

2009-04-06T11:40:00.005-05:00

Did something on Saturday that I've thought about doing but never had the guts. Actually did it not out of choice but out of desperation: slammed both feet on my brakes going almost 50 mph and made that lovely screaming noise you hear from tires sliding down concrete. Imagine a beautiful Saturday, heading down service road of Central Expressway, looking forward to lunch at favorite Tex-Mex restaurant Herrera's, laughing chit chat in the car, babbling 7 year old in backseat, SMU sorority girls walking down the sidewalk, silver SVU running through red light right in front of you. Thank goodness I had my eye on them coming through that intersection. I think I even realized that they weren't gonna slow down before whatever safety gears started turning and slammed my feet down. If that SVU had hit their brakes or if I hadn't hit mine, I would have t-boned them dead center. I hate that horrible adrenaline rush you get when getting the crap scared out of you. I'm not sure if that SVU ever realized they ran the light but they did seem to slow down past the intersection. It may have just been the sorority girls they were slowing down to look at though. The screaming tire noise should have given them a warning that something wasn't right though. Now I'm not sure if the man in the gold BMW was behind me or beside me during all this but he made a point of riding up next to my car and smiling and waving and giving me a thumbs up. See, Dallas drivers aren't all bad. One driver ran a light, one driver drove defensively and one driver practiced Texas charm. I think of all things that I do that take my attention away from the road and am feeling a bit chagrined and lucky today. Hopefully that first driver learned something also. I did learn that squealing tires aren't so cool after all.

Thursday's Thirteen: a day late

2009-04-03T13:51:00.005-05:00

Driving to school always seems to put me in a melancholy mood. I don't know if it's a "I don't wanna go to school, it's too pretty" mood or a "I can't get a grip on my life" malaise. This morning I was actually thinking about exotic things that I would do if I could but realized I needed to scale it down to things I would like to do right now.
1) Walk down the road from my house to see the huge purple irises that are blooming
2) Stop and pet the friendly dog at the bus stop down the road from my school. He stands on his back legs and licks over the fence at the kids every morning. He makes me happy.
3) Plant a pecan tree at Mama Pat and Daddo's grave site.
4) Go out to Grandmother and Pappy's grave site and plant some flowers.
5) Throw away half the shoes that I have
6) Buy a pair of red sandals that match my nail polish
7) Make copies of everything that I need for the upcoming Middle East Unit
8) Get every single culture Box Project taken home by my students
9) Call the parents of each student that is failing....oye....so many right now
10) Sign the middle 100 Farmer daughter up for theater classes....my attempts to steer her towards Law seem to have failed...lol
11) Sign the 100 Farmer Daughters up for swim team....another summer sitting in the shade at the pool
12) Go see that stupid King Tut Exhibit that I've been meaning to for months
13) Sleep for more than 5 hours sometime this weekend

April Fool's

2009-04-02T11:41:00.005-05:00

I have never driven a bus. Do not see myself driving one anytime in the near future. Am personally terrified by the idea of such a responsibility and give a tip of the hat to my Fellow Education Blogger, Tales of a School Bus Driver who was kind enough to contribute my April Fool's post. Another tip of the hat(well, if I ever wore one...how about swish of the ponytail) to Mister Teacher for organizing our blogosphere prank. My post yesterday can be located at History is Elementary's blog. I can definitely say that I am in good company :)

Bug Spray, Sand Gnats, and the Zoo

2009-04-01T00:05:00.000-05:00

Over the last week, I drove a couple of decent field trips. One was a pretty typical, run-of-the-mill, sports (JV. Boys and Girls Soccer) field trip to a nearby town. All was going pretty well until… the Sand Gnats attacked. We got there around 3:30; by 5 pm they were in full attack mode. Swarms of Sand Gnats brutally and relentlessly tortured the unsuspecting patrons of the games. For those who don’t know, Sand Gnats are tiny bugs that bite. They are like mini mosquitoes and as annoying as the “No-See-Em’s.” I tried to take refuge in my bus, but being that it was hot outside, and even hotter in the bus, the Sand Gnats somehow managed to seek me out. I had the bus fans going on full blast; the windows and door were open in the hopes that the breeze would keep the Sand Gnats away. Alas, I was unsuccessful as the swarms of Sand Gnats congregated inside the bus. I was about to flee the scene in search of refuge inside any nearby building when I saw a parent spraying bug spray all over her kids and herself. “Victory is mine!” I thought as I hurried toward the woman half begging and pleading to borrow her bug spray for just a minute. She graciously allowed me to use it and soon I was repelling the Sand Gnats much to my relief. AHA!!! I must add bug spray to my bus driver bag. Later in the week, I drove a trip to the Zoo. The local kindergarten classes piled into my bus and we drove the two hours at 55 mph all the way to the Zoo. The Zoo was packed! After winding our way through the parking lot to the bus parking area, the children got off and ate lunch. Then we headed to the entrance. We had to enter all at once and together in two separate groups, adults and children. Of course it took a miracle to get the parents and children to separate long enough to form two lines to enter the Zoo. Once inside, I rented a scooter and saw the Zoo in style. My favorite exhibit was the monkey exhibit. I’ve always loved the monkey exhibits even when I was a child. While “scooting” around, I encountered several groups of people who created massive road blocks by not only stopping in the middle of the pathways, but insisted on spreading themselves out in a line that spanned the width of the pathway creating a very uncomfortable and impossible to pass road block. Additionally, these same people had children (devil spawn) who insisted on walking, and in some cases, running, into me. Luckily I was able to stop the scooter to avoid running over the devil spawn, because if I had bumped into and run over any of them, the parents of said devil spawn would probably have chewed me a new one about “watching where I’m going” without considering their devil spawn was bouncing from side to side and generally being a twit. Unlike some of the other field trips I’ve taken, the Zoo was very educational. It was a very successful day. Most of the children whose parents accompanied them took them home, so the remaining children on the bus each had their own seat and were able to sleep all the way home. I can’t wait until later in the year when I go to the Museum of Science and History.
Don’t Feed the Animals,
The Bus Driver

A pool of Substitutes: throw that one back

2009-03-27T11:27:00.005-05:00

Walking down the hallway, I spied a "let say" very interesting man sitting in a student desk in the hallway. By sitting down, I mean crammed so tightly in there that he seemed to be bulging from the top of the desk. If you put a 250 lb. bullfrog into a suit and put him in a school desk; this is what he would look like. The desk was so crammed that the bolts holding it together seemed to be strained to a popping point. He had a huge pompadour of sprayed hair and was almost screaming into his cell phone. A substitute you ask? Is it Friday? Is this person a bit on the odd side? Oh yes, we have a substitute teacher sighting in E Hallway. I don't mean to knock people who do a job I myself avoid like the plague. Substitutes get no respect but a whole plethora of abuses thrown at them by students who will and try to do anything disruptive at all possible. When I cover a class for a fellow teacher, the first thing I do is flash my ID badge at the class, tell them what I teach and definitely make it known that I am not a substitute. In other words, I have names and numbers to call and the email to document any behaviors that I don't like. I've worked in several schools and two different districts but we do seem to have some of the strangest subs this year. One poor woman shuttles down the hallway like she's avoiding sniper fire and drags a fully loaded teacher cart of books and papers. One guy has a long braided beard, at least eight piercings in each ear and looks more like he should be juggling bowling pins at a renaissance fair rather than subbing in a World Geography class. My favorite is the extremely fussily three piece suit, overdressed sub who walked into my class during a lecture and interrupted me by announcing that I needed to fix his VCR right then. I did it because I'm a nice person. Did he say thank you? Oh no. When his class erupted into chaos thirty minutes later, I picked up my phone and called the AP's. Oh well. It may have been petty and I could have left my class alone again to help him but manners go a long way with me. He subs quite often and his classes erupt just as frequently. Has his demeanor improved? Oh no. Why is he still subbing? Who knows? There is this telepathy that seems to exist with the teachers on my hallway when we know that there is a sub. We all subtly notice the sub, pass the word around and try to maintain a discreet watch over the classroom. When the "interesting" subs come off the elevator, little warning flags seem to unfurl above our heads with the raising of eyebrows in disbelief sometimes. Like I said, I wouldn't want to be a substitute. It's a paycheck at best to some I'm sure. But where in the world do these people come from?

My Trip

2009-03-24T10:44:00.002-05:00

Graceland by Paul Simon
She comes back to tell me she's gone,
As if I didn't know that
As if I didn't know my own bed,
As if I'd never noticed,
The way she brushed her hair from her forehead,
And she said losing love
Is like a window in your heart,
Everybody sees you're blown apart,
Everybody sees the wind blow,

I'm going to Graceland,
Memphis Tennessee
I'm going to Graceland

or if you prefer

Hunk of Burnin' Love by Elvis Presley

Lord Almighty,
I'm burning a hole where I lay
Cause your kisses lift me higher
Like the sweet song of a choir
You light my morning sky
With burning love
With burning love
Ah, ah, burning love
I'm just a hunk,
a hunk of burning love
Just a hunk, a hunk of burning love
Just a hunk, a hunk of burning love
Just a hunk, a hunk of burning love
Just a hunk, a hunk of burning love
Just a hunk, a hunk of burning love

The King

2009-03-13T10:30:00.018-05:00

Pouty Elvis OR Comeback Elvis OR Vegas Elvis

Growing up, we had two septic tanks with large concrete covers in our backyard. These were perfect performance stages for me and my cousin Kim. Our favorite songs were always Elvis songs. In the summer, we would drape the water hose over the clothes line and use this as a handy dandy water-filled microphone. Either water was a whole cheaper in the 70's or my parents were gladly paying the water bill to keep us kids out of the house. Sometimes that backyard would be practically flooded. During the colder months, we played my parent's records constantly. We had slippery hardwood floors and with a sprinkling of baby powder they were wonderful for sliding around to Jailhouse Rock. My oh my we sighed over those album covers of a young Elvis. Of all the records my parent's had, those poor Elvis records were used and abused the most. Well there was an unfortunate incident with several albums used as snowboards but that's another blog. Later on I would discover my parent's Beatles and Rolling Stones records but my first love would always be the King. I will admit to a crush on John Denver in the early 70's but that was after I started school and went through my hippy stage. Which Elvis is my favorite Elvis? I have to admit a special fondness for Vegas Elvis. I remember being so bewildered by all the women screaming over his sweat soaked towels but also being strangely fascinated by it all. I get it now of course but am definitely not going into that conversation here. Why a post about Elvis you ask? I'm planning a trip to Graceland. I took down the stolen road map from my bulletin board and taped it back into my road atlas. We're heading to Graceland. Memphis, Tennesee. Oh wait, that's a Paul Simon song. Oh well.

You'd Think

2009-03-11T13:17:00.006-05:00

You'd think that if I'm really having a mid-life crisis that I'd be trying to make things better instead of seeming to make them worse.

Today's Message brought to you by WOW

2009-03-09T12:31:00.008-05:00

Getting Outside the Game or So what if I have T7 gear, my car still needs to be washed.

1. Turn off the computer
2. Go to bed
3. Limit the amount of time that you're playing.
4. Go outside: take a walk(the lake is right there), throw a ball for the dog, watch the kids run around the park(it's right there too).
5. Make something in real life(cookies, finish the china cabinet, paint the kitchen).
6. Pick up the phone and call someone.
7. Go see King Tut exhibit before it closes.
8. Go read a book in the bathtub(you've got about a dozen unfinished books).
9. Go through your stuff and throw it away(Goodwill, take it away).
10. Get in the car, turn up the radio and drive somewhere(you're a Geography teacher for crying out loud, ya got maps).

A blogged response: On the Road

2009-03-04T14:04:00.009-06:00

I will admit to deliberately avoiding blogging about this. I will also admit to being a little aggravated by my significant other blogging about it. We are apart. My choice. My instigation. My decision to ask him to move out. He says that he is confused by something that to me seemed so glaringly wrong for a long time. Sadly though, under the critical eye of retrospection and those sitting side by side but avoiding eye contact conversations we have, it seems our relationship actually gradually slid many years into the miasma into which it decayed even further. Is it something that can be salvaged? At this point, I don't have the energy to revive it. I am in what seems to be a holding pattern. I don't know what I am waiting for or even looking for at this point. I imagine all sorts of roads and futures but there are so many unknowns that I can't predict anything. The possibilities are hopeful though. And having that bit of hope means more to me than anything.

Indecision

2009-03-02T13:11:00.003-06:00

"Indecision may or may not be my problem."

-Jimmy Buffett

BBC Books Tag

2009-02-26T07:15:00.009-06:00

I have been tagged five times here and four times on Facebook to do this. Quit sending it to me. I give up.
Apparently the BBC reckons most people will have only read 6 of the 100 books here.
Instructions:
1) Look at the list and put an 'x' after those you have read.
2) Add a '+' to the ones you LOVE.
3) Star (*) those you plan on reading.
4) Tally your total. (83)

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen x
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien x+
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte x
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling x+
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee x+
6 The Bible x
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte x
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell x
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman x
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens x+
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott x+
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy x
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller x
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare x
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier x
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien x+
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger x
19 The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger x
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell x+
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald x
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens x
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy x
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams x+
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh x
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky x
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck x
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll x+
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame x
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy x
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens x
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis x+
34 Emma - Jane Austen x
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen x
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis x+
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres x
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne x
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell x
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown x
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez x (in spanish)+
44 A Prayer for Owen Meany - John Irving x
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins x
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery x
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy x
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood x+
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding x
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel x+
52 Dune - Frank Herbert x
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons x+
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen x+
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens x
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley x
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon x
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez x (in spanish)
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck x
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov x
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas x
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy x+
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding x+
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville x
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens x+
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker x
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett x
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson x+
75 Ulysses - James Joyce x
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath x
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray x
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens x+
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker x
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro x
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert x
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White x+
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Alborn x++
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle x
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton +
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad x
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery x
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams x
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole x
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas x+
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare x
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl x+
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo x

Thursday's Thirteen divided by 2

2009-02-19T15:48:00.006-06:00

I know teachers aren't supposed to espouse favorites but where do you think the phrase Teacher's Pet comes from? Today's Thursday's Thirteen is a random sampling of some of my favorite students this year. Divided by two and rounded because I'm lazy today.

1. Sharon ignored me for months. Trying to make this child smile was futile. She was waayyy too cool. Then I had to call her mother because her grades had slipped badly. Oh, the look I got the next day from her and for several days afterwards. But the ice had thawed and she is quick to call me on the carpet when I am too silly for her. She always laughs first though.

2. Yuji is my sleepy boy. He used to stumble into my second period barely awake. He has really touched my heart this past month as he has become a translator and helper for a special needs student that I received from Japan. He is so kind and careful with her, I am so proud of him.

3. Stephen and I have had a decidedly turbulant year. He has had good days and bad days but seeks me out to talk about camping and his dogs during those times when he isn't wrestling with demons.

4. Harold-class clown and superstar athlete. Oye, he can get on my nerves with his talking and show-boating but he has accidentally called me mom too many times to count. I would adopt him.

5. Jordan-my Warcraft buddy and sounding board for all things dps. So socially awkward but will definitely be a late bloomer. One of those kids I will love to run into 10 years from now.

6. Zhekevia-funny, happy, wise and silly. Such a pleasure seeing her mature and grow. I call her Mary J. because she looks so much like Mary J. Blige.

7. Greg-My official "tall student" to grab those things that I can't. Such a patient gentle giant in my 7th period of yahoos. Sometimes I will catch his eye when someone is acting particularly jerky and he will turn to give that student the bugeye. Behavior issue solved.

Desiderata Part 2

2009-02-16T15:54:00.003-06:00

One of the best gifts my Mama Pat gave to me was the gift of this poem. She loved it so much that she kept copies of it inside her bureau and was always available with a copy for a granddaughter having worries in her world. I forget about this poem every now and then, but like a blessing from my Mama Pat, I am reminded of it and gifted again.

Desiderata

2009-02-16T15:12:00.011-06:00

The Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others,
even to the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble,
it's a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself.
Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann

Tornado Sirens

2009-02-12T10:36:00.012-06:00

Monday night at 9, I was cheerfully playing Warcraft when that ominous, winding sounding roar came from the Rec center down the road. Having lived in Texas all my life, I am used to what seems like 6 months of tornado watches. I will however never be used to the tornado sirens going off. I hate that shot of adrenaline that shoots through your body. After a moment of stunned "what the hey", I began gathering up various pillows and blankets and began the more annoying job of waking up the zombie twins. My daughters do not wake up easily. In fact the younger Farmer has been known to go into a hysterical delirium if you wake her up in the middle of a dream. After four attempts to get her to stay in the hallway on the pillows, the younger farmer was finally corralled by her slightly more awake older sister. Grabbing my shoes and my purse, I finally hunkered down in the hallway with the kiddos and a slightly smelly black lab. For one brief moment I considered rounding up the cats and throwing them in the hall closet but figured that might just add to the general sense of chaos already ensuing. Sorry kitties. Duck and cover mis gatos. Well anyways, storm rolls over us...there goes satellite....there goes lights....Aw no....Where are the flashlights? Nothing like sitting in the dark in the hallway three feet from a catbox, a smelly dog at my feet, with a seven year old sitting in my lap proclaiming that she's gonna throw up. Aw, Good times. Ok, so obviously no tornado hit us even though three did hit in the area. Thirty minutes later, kids are back in bed trying to get back to sleep, the dog is still smelly, the cats are still totally unconcerned and I have a stack of blankets covered in dog hair that need to be washed now. Sigh. The picture above is actually from a site about preparing your cats for disasters. As if they'd listen anyway.

My own Existential Crisis

2009-02-04T12:47:00.001-06:00

Try explaining this to 9th graders.

2009-02-04T12:38:00.002-06:00

Throw in the concepts of the New World, the Old World, the Middle East and then a sprinkle of reteaching regionalism. A perfect recipe for either a A'Ha! moment or a Huh? moment.

Joy of Cooking

2009-01-30T12:51:00.015-06:00

I was very blessed to have grandmothers who were awesome cooks. The first thing my Mama Pat would ask when we walked in the door was if she could make us something and Grandmother always had a container of cookies ready for grandkids. Even though my mom never really encouraged us to be anywhere near the kitchen when she was in there, her influence comes from all the different recipes and new foods that she was constantly trying. Most people don't have stacks of cookbooks in the bathroom but they're my bathtub reading of choice. I couldn't tell you though what my most dog-eared cookbook is because there are a lot of them but one of my favorites is an old spiral-bound copy of the Joy of Cooking. The page with the the recipe for Paprika chicken probably has the most stains. As you know, to find the best recipes in any cookbook, look for the dirtiest page. My most beloved cookbook is an old one from a homemaker's group in Garvin County, Oklahoma. It has old fashioned recipes using such things as oleo and lard. I have never made anything bad from that cookbook and I love the fact that it has recipes from my great, great aunts in there. So many of my favorite memories of my family are tied into the food that I cook: making cookies with my son while pretending to be the Swedish Chef from the Muppets, my brother trying to steal a cookie fresh from the oven and a melted chocolate chip falling between his toes(things always happen to him), dancing around the kitchen with the girls while music plays probably too loudly, a pressure cooker exploding into the ceiling while navy beans slowly rained down on me and my Mama Pat and we held each other laughing hysterically, my Daddo showing me how to fry a perfect sunny side up egg in an old cast iron skillet, sitting on the kitchen stool watching my grandmother's amazing ability to cook w/o measuring a single thing( brought that stool home with me recently), making fresh sopapillas with my mom...I am probably at my happiest in the kitchen and may have an unhealthy attachment to my Kitchen Aid mixer. Ok, not really, but I am quite fond of it. I guess what I really love though is making that dish that makes someone happy. That lets them know I care. I guess that's my joy of cooking.

TAG: Five things Meme

2009-01-29T10:24:00.007-06:00

Name 5 things that are not true, but that you wouldn't mind if people thought they were:

1. I am an accomplished artist. Ok, I can throw a fairly decent mug or vase and my design skills are decent but my drawing skills are still not up to snuff.
2. I play the harmonica beautifully. So far I've taught myself to play "When the Saints Come Marching In". My 7 year old makes better noise on it.
3. I am very graceful. I can be very polite and have good manners...if that's the meaning we're using. Unfortunately, I seem to be unable to walk w/o tripping or running into things.
4. I make the best chocolate chip cookies in the world. I have been challenged lately so I am grudgingly holding the title until confirmed.
5. I love coming to school everyday. Hmm, hard to come back after a snow day.

TAG, you're it.

Missing

2009-01-21T14:14:00.005-06:00

Today's blog is gonna be about WoW so if you're an education person, I'll catch ya later. I've been talking a lot to my sister about the dynamics of relationships that are formed with people on WoW. The most complicated one you first form is with your guild. It's almost a bizarre social hierarchical experiment that is impossible to explain fully to anyone who doesn't play. My guild is very casual and people tend to come and go all the time but there is a small core group of players. In the year that I've been with them, we've had two major schisms that resulted in a reformation of the guild and a loss of people that I've gotten used to playing with regularly. It's kinda strange because I've never met these people face to face but there is a sense of sadness and loss when someone g/quits as we call it. The tumult of emotions that occur watching guildy after guildy g/quit is quite interesting to say the least. I think that I have formed some very close friendships with some of my guildies and might know more about them than they've told their closest friends. I wonder though if I shouldn't become too attached to my guildies because when it comes down to it, we're all just people playing a video game and maybe I'm taking it too seriously. Is there really a friendship or relationship formed when you're communicating thru your Warlock and Rogue? I'm trying to figure this out and can't even come close to a logical conclusion. I know it hurts when people leave. It feels even worse when they don't say goodbye and drop off the face of the earth. It's such a strange alternative universe in WoW. Though when it comes down to it, I don't think I would have missed it for the world despite the people I am missing.

I hope I Don't Sound Like an Idiot

2009-01-20T12:20:00.003-06:00

A great blogger and fellow teacher in the trenches, Learnmegood has graciously allowed me to guest blog for him today. I hope I haven't embarrassed him. Go read his blog. It's a daily read for me.

Bubba

2009-01-09T14:52:00.008-06:00

There's been an unwritten post flavoring my writing for several months and with the anniversary of my grandmother's death coming up, writing this post has been in my mind more and more. It's just a subject that I am not sure how to talk about and one that makes most people so uncomfortable to even have mentioned. The week before school started my cousin James Darren killed himself. I can come up with a myriad of reasons why he might have done it but it doesn't satisfy anything. I shouldn't even be calling him James Darren because he was always Bubba to us. He was 43 years old, divorced with three kids and had been struggling with drug addiction for quite a while. He also was just one of the nicest guys you could meet. He was the kid who always carried around the younger kids and babies and the one who always let you tag along even though you were an annoying girl. He taught me how to ride a horse, how to catch a baseball and turn it around so quickly that the catcher was caught off guard, helped me get up on water skis successfully for the first time, helped me with Algebra homework when he lived with my family for a while and gave me the heebie jeebies the past couple of years because he was such a walking shell of himself. Growing up, he looked like a younger version of my dad and was obviously my dad's favorite. By 40, he looked more like a thirty years older version of my Dad but was still my dad's fave. At family get-togethers, it was always a toss up as to whether Bubba was going to show up. Sometimes, he would come in with fresh pressed jeans and a ridiculously large cowboy hat that he favored or he would slink in after dinner, hanging around the side yard, nervously chain smoking. He made you nervous. Mostly because he was so ill at ease at times and you didn't know what to say to him. My dad would catch up with him though, and after falling into some huge discussion about this and that, you could visibly see the tension fall off Bubba's shoulders. When my aunt called my dad with the news, it really wasn't that shocking. I think the saddest part though is that maybe we all had seen it coming. We knew he was slowly killing himself, but just didn't expect this. My grandparent's deaths were so hard on all of us but I think they were very much a lifeline for Bubba. Their house sat empty for about 9 months and I know Bubba used to go hang out in the side garden and just sit in the swings. I wish he had waited for my parents to move in. I thought it would be strange having my parents there but it feels right. I know my grandmother would have very pleased with the way my dad is taking care of the gardens. I think Bubba would have found a place there. My dad would have welcomed his company. I wish he had just waited.

Thursday's thirteen...13 Random Things in/on my Desk

2009-01-08T13:22:00.004-06:00

1. Over-sized Desktop Marines Calendar-full of doodles and random parental phone numbers-you can really track who was on my nerves on a particular day with it.
2. 500 count pastel paper clips container-these paper clips are like crack for my kids
3. Four different tubes of lipsticks-you'd be surprised about the effect of wearing lipstick on a class. You'd think I was dressing up for a ball.
4. Twelve sets of earrings-which explains why I can't find earrings on the weekends
5. A box of 100 1/4 inch folded origami stars and cranes that my ESL class from 7 years ago folded to celebrate the birth of my youngest daughter
6. A grey stuffed animal armadillo that we pass around during discussions to designate a speaker
7. Three Starbucks gift cards that I got for Christmas from students-FTW!
8. Four boxes of green Flair Pens-I am obsessed with only grading with these pens..Idk why...
9. Metal Jersey Cow Deskset(udders included)....so they're cheesy.....they make me happy
10. A bag of Buttered Popcorn Jelly beans....yummm
11. Lilo and Stitch Figurines
12. Box of Kashi Trail Mix Granola Bars
13. A stack of filled out office behavior referrals that I never turned in....sigh

Face Value

2009-01-05T13:01:00.015-06:00

I'm a bit amazed by how open people are with Facebook and MySpace. I think of people from my past that I'd really like to see but there are also a couple of people that would make me duck and cover if they materialized out of the woodwork. I don't know if guys have these experiences, but I can think back to some slightly creepy encounters with guys who stood a bit too close to me while talking or guys who seemed to know a little bit too much about my personal life. I quickly took down some personal info from classmates.com when I saw that one particular scary character from high school had looked at it. Let's just say, you should never tell a 16 year old girl that you know which bedroom window is hers. When I google my name, I am sometimes appalled by the info that shows up that connects the dots of my life story. This is the actually the second version of my blog. I deleted my first when I had a moment of panic with a particularly paranoid employer. Wish I hadn't done it though, because there was some pretty funny stuff there. Oh well. Maybe I'm just secretly jealous that people have such exciting lives that they share with all the other people with exciting lives. I do know that when I ask my students if they've checked my teacher page for make-up asignments, they look at me if I'm talking about space alien cloning. On the other hand, they update their mood indicator on Myspace every other hour. A quick glance online will tell me whether or not my sixth period is coming in sleepy, bored or just peachy. I am not sure if this posting of our lives online is actually making communication better as a society. I have found myself saying things online that I probably would have a hard time saying in person w/o feeling like an idiot. Is this a good thing or bad thing? Am I able to express myself better within the safety of my keyboard or am I really just creating an image? When do you take what you see of that person online for face value when they can pick and choose what people can see?

Thursday's Thirteen 2009 Songs

2009-01-01T12:54:00.003-06:00

Got up at the crack of dawn to a beautiful sunrise. Took the dog for a rather short walk around the lake because frankly, I was freezing my tail and his off. Here are the first 13 songs that my Ipod shuffled to greet the new year and my pathetic attempt at a walk. It's definitely an interesting mix of songs but for once, it didn't try to play Peter Gabriel every other song. Doesn't matter though, that sunrise had all my attention.

1. Pretty Fly (For a White guy) by The Offspring....This is so my brother in the early 90's
2. California by Phantom Planet... reminds me of that missed L.A. road trip with an ex-Bf that I will always regret passing up
3. Radio Nowhere by Bruce Springsteen...sigh...Bruce
4. Glamorous by Fergie...I shouldn't like this so much but the girls sound great singing it from the backseat of the car
5. Without Me by Eminem...ok, guilty pleasure number two
6. Leaving Louisiana in the Broad Daylight by The Oak Ridge Boys....my parents.....lol
7. So Much for the Afterglow by Everclear...still mourning their breakup
8. Paradise City by Guns and Roses...falsetto everyone...
9. Lonely Teardrops by Jackie Wilson....I'm sure a lot of people sing and walk too...quit staring
10. Shadow of the Day by Linkin Park...this song always seems to play on the way to school..hmm
11. Hands Open by Snow Patrol...."It's hard to argue when you won't stop making sense."
12. Love You Again by John Hiatt...I love this song....
13. Little Black Backpack by Stroke 9...what a great line, "Up smack turn around, he's on his back."

Salud!

2008-12-30T17:05:00.004-06:00

Ok, I was probably tempting the fates by declaring that things were good. My dad had a heart attack the day after I posted the previous entry. Sigh. After my initial shock and an unfortunate drop of a fairly bad expletive in front of my kid's grandmother, we've found out that it was a mild one and he was probably lucky to have it. Sounds a bit strange, but it revealed some underlying problems that last month's battery of tests did not reveal. Don't even get me started about the validity of those tests. So, with another crisis under our belt, I toast the completion of this helluva year(not to be confused with last school year's helluva year) and wish all a much better new year. And on a final note: if any one locates last year's end of semester final, please forward it to me. I don't feel like starting out my new year by writing a new one. Salud!

It's good

2008-12-27T19:00:00.012-06:00

Someone asked me to describe myself the other day and I kinda drew a blank. I actually went and stared at myself in the mirror trying to put adjectives to the person that I feel like I am right now. There is so much flux in my life right now, that I'm not sure if I could even pin myself down so definitively. School is good. Kids are good. I am good. Where will I be in six months? That's a good question. Wish I could answer it. I've never been that great at changing my plans. I get an idea in my head and tend to attack that course of action until it's completed. I've always thought that might have been my saving grace because I have made up my mind to do something and just done it. As a 2nd grader, I would have told you that I wanted to be a teacher. College was never a negotiable despite all my life's twists and turns because I was going to be a teacher. I just did it. And here I am today. Recently though I've found myself letting go of more and more plans. While my family might be laughing at me right now, I'm kinda enjoying not being in control of everything. I am pretty sure I'd like to move. I'm pretty sure I'd like to be at a smaller school. I'd like to be taller but no making plans for that. Looking in the mirror, I see a lot of change happening with the person that I planned. But I'm not feeling like I have to map out the changes right now. I think I'm enjoying the scenery more and not staring at the map. It's all good.

To Bee-otch or not to Bee-otch

2008-12-12T11:32:00.007-06:00

A certain someone called my writing whining the other day and I took a little offense to it. I guess I am a bit sensitive about the subject. My brother and sister's favorite joke is about my mom's bee-otching disease. When does relating an incident or telling about something cross the line into whining? When I'm in front of the class and am giving instructions and my students' heads go down on their desks and they start moaning complaints about how much work I'm giving, I know that its just whining. When the junior 100Farmer stomps around the house and slams the door on the way out to clean the cat box, I know its just whining. Standing in the hallway between classes talking to other teachers about students is definitely jumping aboard the whining train. If I am unhappy with someone's rude behavior to me and I tell someone else about it, is that whining? Is it whining because I didn't correct the rude behavior or try to fix the problem? Maybe its harder to judge whining when you can't actually hear the tone of someone's voice and have to rely upon typed interpretation. I don't know. When does whining morph into dumping on someone? When is it just crying on someone's shoulder? When do you pull out the "world's smallest violin" emoticon and tell someone to just deal with it? It leaves a person afraid to share anything because you dont want to be that whiny person. Especially if it makes you sound like your mother....shudder....

A Tale of Two Lunches

2008-12-05T14:35:00.002-06:00

My school has over 3200 students and only 3 lunches. The lunchroom resembles a concert hallway rather than an actual eating area. The crescendo of shrieking females also makes it seem more like a Jonas Brothers concert rather than actual lunchtime. I am one of the fortunate teachers to be assigned to A and C lunch duty. You know I'm being facetious here, right? Hey, lets pick one of the shortest teachers on campus and put her in the middle of Bedlam. Where are all the coaches who have traditionally pulled cafeteria duty? Hey, they all have 4th period and all three lunches off together and sit down in the coach's office watching TV. Now, A lunch is fine because I'm actually stationed in the cafeteria next to the coke machines. I get to glad-hand the students, chat up the cute Campus cop and watch my kids acting goofy with their friends. C lunch is a bit different. I get to stand in the dark hallway leading from the cafeteria to the parking lot away from the eyes of all the other teachers and principals. I am blocking the greatest prize available to students: access to freedom from school. It is not a happy place and definitely keeps me out of my own happy place. Everyday I get snarled responses, muttered obscenities and crudely organized attempts at escape from the inmates..uh..students. I don't want to be mean. I want to walk out that door myself. I hate that stupid hallway. The jingle of keys being pulled from pockets must sound like the doors of prison sliding open to these kids. Until they turn the corner and there stand Ms. 100Farmers. I don't want to be the warden. If someone really pushed the issue, I'd probably suggest that they bring me back a Slurpee and just step aside for them. On the other hand, we haven't had a food fight yet and I've got my escape route planned perfectly for C lunch: out that door to the parking lot with my car keys happily jingling.

I am a level 72 Lock

2008-11-24T12:40:00.003-06:00

Ok, you might have been wondering where I've been. Mostly in Azeroth or Stormwind and lately in the Borean Tundra. I've been playing World of Warcraft. Ok, playing a lot of Warcraft. I don't watch TV anymore and my book reading has dropped off but I can say I've really been enjoying myself. I'm in a guild with people I respect and like and love playing with people all over the country. A huge society of geeks. The drama with the ins and outs of personalities in the guild can be annoying but I'm also amazed by the simple kindnesses that I see from strangers. It's probably kept me from going absolutely crazy while trying to get through another year at my school. Yes, my name is Greatlady and I'm a level 72 Warlock. Until Thanksgiving break that is, when I hope to get to level 75.

Grades-to D or Not to D

2008-06-13T16:26:00.005-05:00

Received a phone call from my favorite AP yesterday about 3 of my students who averaged out to 69's for the year. Kinda embarrassed about it because I thought I had double-checked that. He was actually apologetic because some glitch in the grading system did not average out the final grades for us. Pretty sure I can add multiples and divide by two however. Obviously I can't since I missed these kids' grades. See, we are highly discouraged from giving a 69 or even a 68. In all honesty, I typically bump the kids up that one point. One kid is Sped and I am OK with moving her up because I've seen progress from her. The other two have gone from pretty decent B/C students to failing this past semester. They are both in the same class and so hormonally driven to aggravate each other that they managed to antagonize the whole class. Both turned in their last project a week late which I reluctantly gave a 50 instead of a zero because it was a week until school got out. Both were given chances to do extra credit. Both were given study packets for their final exam which they both bombed. I don't know what other classes they failed or what good repeating the semester will do them but I just couldn't tell my AP to give them the point. He has been an extremely supportive AP and altogether nice dude. The fact that he called me to ask about it speaks volumes about some of the differences between suburbia-land ISD and Dallas ISD. He may even have to catch from flak from some parents who were duly notified with three progress reports and a phone call. Sometimes parents are quite civil and understanding until they actually see the grade on the report card. Hearing the word, Failing, on the phone seems to have less of an impact than seeing the grade on paper. My emotional "Love the Sinner not the Sin" part was saying that the easy thing would have been to just give them the point. My critical-thinking "Thou Shalt Not" part was saying that they didn't work for it or even learned the material enough to earn the point. I am second guessing myself today but I guess when I sub for summer school in July I might find out for sure if I made the right decision. Won't they be happy to see me.

Swan song for a Helluva Year

2008-06-05T15:10:00.004-05:00

My family refers to the past year as "a helluva year". My whole focus the past couple of months had just been to get through the school year w/o committing myself into the Parkland psych ward. Yesterday the last exam ended at 1:00 with grades due by 4:30. Hope everyone showed up, hope the front office didn't send out multiple emailing about how this kid or that kid should be marked failing because of absences, then NO, never mind, he has suddenly made up all 2,065 absences he had by sitting in the front office for two hours making up his exam he missed while being suspended for throwing food during the three lunch period long food fight.....If that made no sense then imagine trying to finish grades while being bombarded with contradicting emails. Anyway, I walk my paper grade validation sheets down to the office even though our grades are on-line and just as I hand them over everything goes kinda gray and fuzzy and I am suddenly sitting on the floor just as light-headed as can be. Well that was interesting. The school nurse asked me about my stress levels. Hee hee. I think my teacher fuse just couldn't handle the relief and just clicked off. My swan song for the school year: sitting on the floor of the office laughing like a loon. Put a fork in me, my room is packed up, my cabinets are bursting with things I really don't want to see for several months, and I am so glad this "helluva year" is over.

Pearl Story

2008-06-02T21:20:00.005-05:00

"Pearl" cheats. It doesn't matter what we are working on, I can say with certainty that she has never done anything w/o copying some portion from someone else. At first I believed that she was trying to cover up reading difficulties or was just really lost but over time I realized that my Pearl is just a scammer. One of the first things you pick up as a teacher is the "Lingo": Scammer, Dude, Trippin', my personal favorite, "Eskippiando". Pearl has taken scamming to a artistic level. Cell phone cheating, little scraps of notes cheating, have to move all students away from her during tests cheating, paper on the floor cheating, writing on leg cheating, you always lose my paper scamming, tapping answer on desk cheating, copying from papers taken from my inbox, taking papers from other kid's binders, someone stole my paper scamming, emergency in the bathroom cheating. The best was the surprise visit before school to say hello and then taking a test off my desk to fill out and pass off as her own later in the day. Too bad she grabbed one of my SPED modified tests for my Foundations kids. That incident was actually kind of amusing. Pearl is not a morning person and she had to get up early for that. She probably spent more time trying to scam than it would have taken her to actually do the work or study. Pearl's many scams did make me realize several things about myself.
1.) Despite it all, I still trust my kids. I do believe that the majority of my kids will do the right thing.
2.) I am not stupid. I do have to do a little more work like multiple tests to prevent cheating. I have also moved my in-boxes next to my desk.
3.) The best thing to do is monitor my kids constantly. Not just in case of cheating. In case they need help, in case they don't get it, in case they just need a little attention, in case they don't believe they can do it on their own w/o cheating, in case they don't how to do anything w/o cheating.

Whiffle this year

2008-05-28T18:51:00.002-05:00

I would personally like to find the Texas State Legislator who proposed the school year change that pushed us past Memorial Day and beat him/her silly with a whiffle bat. I feel like I am torturing these kids and myself. They are so far gone right now that I am just a glorified babysitter. Final Exam? Hee hee hee. I swear I am dumbing it down on a daily basis. My kids are losing brain cells by the class period. Whiffle, whiffle, whiffle!!! Whap! Whap! Whap!

Wonder where your students will be in 10 years?

2008-05-21T12:41:00.004-05:00

My sister had to go to the pharmacy to get a prescription filled for her cat. When she gave the young woman at the counter the presciption, she was asked for the patient's birthdate. My sister explained that she didn't know because it was for her cat. The woman looked at her quizzically and asked her if her cat had ever filled her presciptions there before. At that moment my sister couldn't hold it together any longer and started laughing. When the poor girl started to ask for the cat's phone number, she collapsed in hysterics. My sister felt really bad for laughing but I am just a little concerned that this person is working in a pharmacy.

Next Year

2008-05-16T13:14:00.005-05:00

Middle ground. I can survive without constant peaks and I know the pitfalls of this profession are the unavoidable valleys you run into working with kids. But why can't I achieve a middle ground? Had several weeks of real excitement about next year because I had been told that I could teach a history class and probably some AP classes. This week, belated news that they really wanted me to stay with the 9th graders. Didn't tell me until I had heard it from several other people who had seen the master schedule already. It felt like damage control to me. It probably would have stung less if I hadn't been told from another teacher that they'd just hired a teacher for that position from our feeder middle school. Sigh. OK, I can understand. I am good with ESL and SPED kids. I also know that I tend to get certain kids because I have a good reputation with handling some of the more difficult kids. But come on. Throw me a bone. Throw me some nerds. Please rescue me from freshmen. They are really different now and as any teacher knows, they are "YOUR KIDS" this time of year. But I keep thinking back to October when I had over 170 "STUDENTS" and would have walked out the door if the opportunity had presented itself. Opportunity meaning the ability to survive w/o living out of my car of course. I know I can go home for the summer, take some good classes and recharge those educational batteries. I just don't know if I have the edumacational battery life to put up with another first 6 weeks like I had last year. Too many days of Death Valley. How about a few more days of Hill Country?

Zen and the Art of Biting your Tongue

2008-05-09T23:53:00.002-05:00

Designer Jane started telling me about her vacation plans today as if she had never attempted to bite my head off the other day. In the middle of all her jet-setting info, she drops the bomb that her mother is pregnant and that Jane is devastated. Besides the fact that Jane's a freshman in high school and she's probably horrified by the idea that her mother might be having sex, Jane is suddenly confronted with competition. My little Jane has been an only child up until now. Things are gonna change. I sympathized nicely with her and she wished me a good weekend as she walked out the door. Oh well, at least I am a favored chew toy. Glad I was able to not say what I really wanted to say the other day. Just keep chanting, "Summer, summer, summer."

Uncomfortable silence

2008-05-08T17:53:00.002-05:00

Some quiet rumors had been floating around that we would have a new department head next year and that the announcement would be made during out meeting today. With the arrival of both our regular AP and the "never seen before in our meeting" principal, we figured some news was about to be broken. Nice nice was made, congrats on the hard work preparing for TAKS were showered and then our dept. head announced she was leaving the school completely because she had decided in Oct. that she could no longer work under the current administration. Silence. Silence. Silence. Introduction of new dept. head. Nice, nice, nice. Everyone have a good day. A massive rush by some befuddled teachers out the door. Boy, I can't wait to see how the next few weeks play out.

Four more weeks to go

2008-05-07T13:06:00.002-05:00

Yesterday one of my favorite trust-funded, designer-clothed students was in quite a funk. You could tell just by looking that something was wrong with her. I asked her to come outside and asked if she was okay because I was a little worried about her. Her so lovely response, " Why should you care? I don't care about you. I don't care about any teachers. In fact, I hate all teachers. All I care about is the grade." Well now. That's quite a verbally aggressive tantrum for first period on a Tuesday. I backed up several feet, put my hands up in surrender and told her, "Well I apologize if I am invading your personal space here but I will not apologize for caring about my students." "I guess we're done with this conversation." Today I didn't make eye contact or even look in her direction. Maybe I'll surrepticiously check on her tomorrow. I know it's not proper monitoring of my kids but it's too late in this year of years to get chewed on again. Call me the dog toy of freshmen.

Cool video

2008-04-08T08:49:00.000-05:00

Cool video.

It's Friday Night and I am bored Tag

2008-03-28T21:32:00.007-05:00

1. The Godfather (1972)-I am more impressed by this every time I see it.
2. The Shawshank Redemption (1994)
3. The Godfather: Part II (1974)
4. The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly (1966)It's my ring tone.
5. Pulp Fiction (1994)
6. Schindler’s List (1993)
7. One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest (1975) It makes me sad.
8.The Empire Strikes Back (1980) I have never seen all of Star Wars however.
9. Casablanca (1942)
10. Seven Samurai (1954)
11. Star Wars (1977)
12. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003) I am addicted to the extended version. Hello Viggo.
13. 12 Angry Men (1957)
14. Rear Window (1954)
15. Goodfellas (1990)
16. Cidade de Deus (2002)
17. Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981) Rember when Harrison Ford was likeable? Sigh.
18. The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)
19. Once Upon a Time in the West (1968)
20. The Usual Suspects (1995)
21. Psycho (1960) Still freaks me out.
22. Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964)
23. Fight Club (1999) Dark but actually amusing.
24. Citizen Kane (1941)
25. The Silence of the Lambs (1991) Scary, scary, scary
26. North by Northwest (1959)
27. Memento (2000)
28. The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002)
29. Sunset Blvd. (1950)
30. It’s a Wonderful Life (1946)
31. The Matrix (1999)
32. Lawrence of Arabia (1962)
33. There Will Be Blood (2007)Uh no. Look at title.
34. Se7en (1995) EEWWWW
35. Apocalypse Now (1979) I don't get it.
36.Taxi Driver (1976)
37. American Beauty (1999)
38. Léon (1994)
39. Vertigo (1958) Youngd Jimmy Stewart gives the heebie jeebies
40. Amelie (2001)-I love this movie.
41. American History X (1998)
42. No Country for Old Men (2007)
43. The Departed (2006)
44. Paths of Glory (1957)
45. M (1931)
46. To Kill a Mockingbird (1962) It is incredible.
47. Chinatown (1974)
48. The Third Man (1949)
49. Leben der Anderen, Das (2006)
50. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind(2004)
51. A Clockwork Orange (1971)
52. Alien (1979)
53. The Treasure of the Sierra Madre (1948)
54. Laberinto del fauno, El (2006)
55. The Shining (1980) -scary, scary, scary
56. Sen to Chihiro no kamikakushi (2001)
57. The Pianist (2002)
58. Double Indemnity (1944)
59. Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975) Niiii
60. Forrest Gump (1994)
61. Saving Private Ryan (1998)-kinda wish I hadn't, still unsettled by opening scenes
.62. The Bridge on the River Kwai (1957) rr rrrr
63. L.A. Confidential (1997)-messy but good
64. Boot, Das (1981)
65. Requiem for a Dream (2000)
66. Reservoir Dogs (1992)
67. Untergang, Der (2004)
68. Aliens (1986)
69. The Maltese Falcon (1941)-he's such a bad boy
70. Raging Bull (1980)
71. Metropolis (1927)
72. Rashômon (1950)
73. Terminator 2: Judgment Day(1991)-Too scary!!!
74. Modern Times (1936)
75. Hotel Rwanda (2004)
.76. Singin’ in the Rain (1952) ok but I've enjoyed other musicals better
77. Sin City (2005)-eewww
78. Rebecca (1940)-7th grade honors English requirement. Thanks Mrs. Peters.
79. 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)
80. Sjunde inseglet, Det (1957)
81. All About Eve (1950)
82. Some Like It Hot (1959)
83. City Lights (1931)
84. Amadeus (1984)-Oh god, it was also our Senior play. Gag!!!Rock me Amadeus.
85. Vita è bella, La (1997)
86. On the Waterfront (1954)
87. The Great Escape (1963)-my Dad's favorite.
88. Touch of Evil (1958)
89. The Prestige (2006)-book was better though I like me some Hugh Jackman. Yo Wolverine.
90. The Elephant Man (1980)
91. Jaws (1975)-I had nightmare's and I was 9.
92. Full Metal Jacket (1987)-my brother's favorite. Another I don't get it.
93. The Sting (1973)-charming
94. Nuovo cinema Paradiso (1988)
95. Once Upon a Time in America (1984)
96. The Manchurian Candidate (1962)
97. The Apartment (1960)
98. Braveheart (1995)-I can't handle his macho blather.
99. Blade Runner (1982)
100. The Great Dictator (1940)
101. Strangers on a Train (1951)
102. Batman Begins (2005)
103. Mr. Smith Goes to Washington (1939)
104. Ladri di biciclette (1948)
105. Salaire de la peur, Le (1953) Wages of Fear
106. High Noon (1952)
107. Ran (1985)
108. Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi (1983)Ewoks?
109. The Big Sleep (1946)
110. The Wizard of Oz (1939) My favorite next to #4
111. Notorious (1946)
112. Back to the Future (1985)
113. Fargo (1996)-Don't normally do edgy but I laughed at the woodchipper scene.
114. Oldboy (2003)
115. Unforgiven (1992)-Another wish I hadn;t seen though I love Morgan Freeman and Clint.
116. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
117. Donnie Darko (2001)Why?
118. Ratatouille (2007) Not worth the hype.
119. Mononoke-hime (1997)
120. Cool Hand Luke (1967)
121. Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003)
122. Yojimbo (1961)
123. Per qualche dollaro in più (1965)
124. The Green Mile (1999)
125. Million Dollar Baby (2004)
126. The Bourne Ultimatum (2007)
127. Notti di Cabiria, Le (1957)
128. Gladiator (2000)
129. Battaglia di Algeri, La (1966) The Battle of Algiers.
130. Annie Hall (1977)
131. Die Hard (1988) -I admit it.
132. Into the Wild (2007)
133. Ben-Hur (1959)
134. The Deer Hunter (1978)
135. The Sixth Sense (1999) Still spooky.
136. It Happened One Night (1934)-This is so sweet.
137. The General (1927)-I had a crush on Buster Keaton until I realized he was my probably older than my grandfather.
138. Platoon (1986)
139. Kind Hearts and Coronets (1949)
140. Life of Brian (1979) I'm Brian! No, I'm Brian.
141. The Killing (1956)
142. Smultronstället (1957)
143. Amores perros (2000)
144. Finding Nemo (2003)
145. Diaboliques, Les (1955)
146. The Incredibles (2004) I think I like this more every time I see it.
147. V for Vendetta (2005)
148. The Wild Bunch (1969)
149. Heat (1995)
150. Children of Men (2006)
151. Brief Encounter (1945)
152. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969)
153. Juno (2007)
154. The Princess Bride (1987)-Inconceivable!
155. 8½ (1963)
156. The Graduate (1967)
157. Judgment at Nuremberg (1961)
158. Letters from Iwo Jima (2006)
59. The Night of the Hunter (1955)
160. The Big Lebowski (1998)
161. Crash (2004/I)
162. Dog Day Afternoon (1975)
163. Stand by Me (1986)-river Phoenix mso young makes me sad.
164. Gandhi (1982)
165. Shadow of a Doubt (1943)
166. The Adventures of Robin Hood (1938)
167. Snatch. (2000)
168. Harvey (1950)I do like this one.
169. Kill Bill: Vol. 2 (2004)
170. The African Queen (1951) They did a great job together.
171. Witness for the Prosecution (1957)
172. The Thing (1982)
173. Trainspotting (1996)
174. Gone with the Wind (1939) -The book, the movie.. divine...
175. The Grapes of Wrath (1940)=liked the book better.
176. Wo hu cang long (2000)
177. Belle et la bête, La (1946)
178. The Gold Rush (1925)
179. Little Miss Sunshine (2006) surprising movie
180. Groundhog Day (1993) Hello Mr. Tobolosky!!!
181. The Conversation (1974)
182. American Gangster (2007)
183. Scarface (1983)-only because my students were so enamored. Yuck!!!
184. Patton (1970)
185. Duck Soup (1933)
186. Toy Story (1995)
187. Nosferatu, eine Symphonie des Grauens (1922)
188. The Best Years of Our Lives (1946)
189. Twelve Monkeys (1995)
190. The Terminator (1984)
191. Cabinet des Dr. Caligari., Das (1920)
192. Sleuth (1972)
193. The Hustler (1961)
194. Umberto D. (1952)
195. The Day the Earth Stood Still (1951)
196. Stalker (1979)
197. Glory (1989)-I did teach 8th grade US History.
198. Ed Wood (1994)
199. King Kong (1933)
200. Grindhouse (2007)
201. Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998)
202. The Exorcist (1973)bad teenage mistake.
203. The Lion King (1994) 1 1/2 is better.
204. Hotaru no haka (1988)
205. Bride of Frankenstein (1935)
206. Spartacus (1960)
207. All Quiet on the Western Front (1930)-really affected me as a 9th grader.
208. The Ox-Bow Incident (1943)
209. The Lost Weekend (1945)
210. Stalag 17 (1953)
211. Magnolia (1999)
212. The Lady Vanishes (1938)
213. Lola rennt (1998) Run Lola Run
214. In the Heat of the Night (1967)
215. The Philadelphia Story (1940)-another favorite
216. Frankenstein (1931)
217. Out of the Past (1947)
218. Big Fish (2003)-I own it but have never seen it. lol.
219. Sunrise: A Song of Two Humans (1927)
220. Anatomy of a Murder (1959)
221. Casino (1995)
222. Rosemary’s Baby (1968)
223. Toy Story 2 (1999)-better than the first
224. Mystic River (2003)-no bad things to kids movies
225. Du rififi chez les hommes (1955)
226. Bonnie and Clyde (1967)
227. 3:10 to Yuma (2007)
228. Hot Fuzz (2007)
229. A Christmas Story (1983)
230. Ikiru (1952)
231. Mou gaan dou (2002)
232. Manhattan (1979)_I love the soundtrack better than the movie.
233. A Streetcar Named Desire (1951)
234. Young Frankenstein (1974)-"Blue car!" Sound of horses neighing.... A private joke.
235. Dial M for Murder (1954)
236. The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance (1962)
237. Rope (1948)238. Once (2006)2
39. Roman Holiday (1953)
240. Quatre cents coups, Les (1959) The 400 Blows
241. The Searchers (1956)
242. In Cold Blood (1967)
243. Ying xiong (2002)
244. His Girl Friday (1940)
245. Shaun of the Dead (2004)
246. Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003)
247. Samouraï, Le (1967)
248. Strada, La (1954)
249. Harold and Maude (1971)

Bold for see, Italics for partly seen. Feel free to add or delete.

Spring Break leftovers

2008-03-23T17:49:00.005-05:00

1. A wonderful blogger made mention that there are only ten weeks left in this school year. It was like the clouds opened and the sun shone through.

2. I was casually reading a great blog So You Want to be a Teacher, about 10 reasons to quit and 9 reasons to stick when #2 reached up and slapped me. I hate my subject material. I HATE TEACHING GEOGRAPHY. It's out. I guess I am a historian at heart and physical geography bores me to tears (It could also be freshmen). I feel like I am betraying years of National Geographic subscriberhood.

3. I have found the world's best roast chicken recipe. Today I made a roast turkey with it and can barely keep myself from going back to the fridge for more.

4. I seriously need a poster of this for my classroom.

5. And while having a hot shower, bathroom and kitchen in a cabin does not necessarily qualify me to have "camped", I did make a lovely fire to roast hot dogs and marshmallows and got some much needed get away time here.

Rolling in her grave

2008-03-09T07:34:00.003-05:00

In addition to dealing with my grandmother's death, we've also been hit with the vandalism of my other grandmother's grave. Someone in the past week has pried off the brass nameplates on at least 11 different people's headstones. One of them was my Mama Pat's. They tried to pry off my Daddo's military service plaque but it was on there too tight I guess. Who steals something like that? Standing there staring at the broken headstone makes me feel like I've been punched in the chest. It is such a personal violation. It had our nickname for her on it. It listed the kids for crying out loud. I have no way of dealing with this except with a boiling rage.

Moment of Joy

2008-03-07T18:53:00.002-06:00

3:00 in the morning. Snow is silently falling. Black Lab is joyously chasing each and every flake around the yard. Potential for school closing in my mind.

Hobbies: Grandkids, gardening and church

2008-02-29T16:21:00.004-06:00

My grandmother had a stroke last Monday and after a week in a coma, passed away this Monday. It has been a horrible week. We were told to expect her to die at any moment and then by Friday, we were apologetically told that they didn't know why she was still alive. It is honestly the most surreal feeling to pray for someone to die. I spent so much time watching every single tiny breath at the hospital that I don't think I really processed the fact that she was actually dead until it was time for the last goodbye at the coffin before we headed to the cemetery. My grandmother had bypass surgery a few days before Christmas and it went really well. The whole family postponed our traditional Christmas Eve dinner at her house until she was to get out of the rehab hospital. She was very disappointed that she had not been able to buy the great-grandkids presents before the surgery. We decorated her room though for Christmas and my cousin even bought her some leopard-print pajamas that looked fantastic on my 84 year old grandmother. And now she's gone. It feels like a month of my own life has been torn apart like a page from a calendar. All these things planned and expected are gone. I am so balled up in anger for losing her and heart-sad for the Christmas Eves and Easters that we will not have with her anymore. There's a strange joy attached to all these emotions though because I know that she has missed my Pappy terribly and is finally with him again. I am just having such a hard time with this. I know that I should be learning something about the fleeting nature of life from this but I'm really thinking that this damn school year needs to get over with quickly. It has been a helluva year.

Doh or Duh?

2008-02-22T18:44:00.003-06:00

Here's a very interesting study about the effects of the Texas Accountability system.

Props to the DMN-I still miss Times Herald though.

2008-02-20T12:29:00.004-06:00

A worthy blog from a crappy newspaper.

Prime Time Wishes

2008-02-13T18:30:00.001-06:00

Received this from our Office Manager today. This woman is so nice. Don't you wish that it really was a series.

Three businessmen and three businesswomen will be dropped in a high school classroom for one school year and will be provided with a copy of his/her school district's curriculum, a plan book, a key, and a class of 28-32 students. Each class will have a minimum of five learning-disabled children, three with ADD, one gifted child, and two who speak limited English. Three students will be labeled with severe behavior problems.Each business person must complete lesson plans at least 3 days in advance with annotations for curriculum objectives and modify, organize, or create materials accordingly and will be required to teach students, handle misconduct, implement technology, document attendance, write referrals, correct homework, compute grades, complete report cards, document benchmarks, communicate with parents, and arrange parent conferences and must stand in their doorway between class changes to monitor the hallways plus other duties as assigned by the district, the principal, and the assistant principals. They must attend workshops, faculty meetings, department meetings, campus and off-site staff development, and attend curriculum development meetings. They must also tutor students who are behind and strive to get their two non-English speaking children proficient enough to take TX tests. Each day they must incorporate reading, writing, math, science, and social studies into the program, maintain discipline and provide an educationally stimulating environment to motivate students at all times but, if all students do not wish to cooperate, work, or learn, the teacher will be held responsible.There will be no access to vendors who want to take them out to lunch, and lunch will be limited to thirty minutes. They will be permitted to use a student restroom as long as another "survivor" candidate can supervise their class. If the copier is operable, they may make copies of necessary materials before or after school. They must continually advance their education--at their own expense and on their own time.
P. S. So far, the Survivor show has received no applications for the upcoming season.

One thing

2008-02-05T18:00:00.001-06:00

It's not that I haven't had a lot on my mind to write about, it's just that I can't seem to come up with decent conclusions for my posts. I therefore have a huge plethora of posts waiting in limbo like ripening literary fruit. One thing though that I must report. Something I never imagined saying to my principal: One of my 9th grade boys tried to get into a brawl with my 7 months pregnant student today. Sigh. I'd bet money that the pregnant student could have taken him though.

Arc-en-Ciel: I'll never taste the rainbow again

2008-01-27T10:32:00.004-06:00

Change is more psychologically difficult to deal with than many people give it credit. Major life events such as a death in the family, a new job or the birth of a child bring new dynamics into even the most mundane everyday routines. They have been easier for me to deal with because they're so undeniable that you have to know that your life is changed from here out. It's the little changes in routines that give me the most trouble. These little routines provide comfort, stability and keep me sane. Even something small like a road closing forcing a new route to work throws me off. While the brain easily processes the new driving time and direction, I am somehow unsettled and not comfortable in the journey. This major life statement having been made, I am now keening my loss of my favorite Dim Sum restaurant. Arc-en-ciel made me feel cool, urbane and hip and allowed me to stuff myself silly with delicious little dumplings and sticky rice. Every time I drive by the shuttered windows, I sigh in sadness. I am left with a hole in my psyche and my tummy. My favorite restaurant is no more. Next thing you know, they'll be getting rid of Muchacos at Taco Bueno. The horror.

Looking for the magic

2008-01-20T19:28:00.000-06:00

I've spent the past week frantically getting grades together to finish out my first semester as a high school teacher. I've also been evaluating the highs and lows of my classroom and the pros/cons of my new school. If I could sum it all up, it comes down to the fact that if I could have quit this semester, I would have. I think so much of my stress and angst could have been handled if I had been assigned an effective mentor. It's not like I didn't go ask for help when I needed something but having someone there to help me evaluate myself and to just figure out who to go to for little issues would have definitely made me feel less isolated. The little email reminders that new teachers received to remind them to ask their mentors first certainly didn't help. It's hard to ask someone scurrying past your door trying to avoid eye contact. My horrible 6th period has been observed three times by our Academic Coordinator and her only suggestion to help with it involved telling me how much she hated one of her classes last year. Veteran teachers tell me to stick it out until I can get Pre-AP classes or can teach a higher grade level. But where does that leave the 9th graders if the experienced teachers always run away as quick as possible? We are all hidden away on the third floor with the rest of the building sighing with relief that they don't have to deal with the Freshmen. Are classes of thirty five with at least 25% inclusions students really expected to meet the needs of students? The Pre-AP classes are running even larger w/o SPED kids of course. On the flip side, I work with some very dedicated professionals. Not that we meet to plan or collaborate but I like what I see when I pass their classroom doors. On the up side, my room is always clean and the our head Custodian is absolutely amazing. I have an up-to- date laptop station with a helpful librarian yet have spent more on classroom supplies from my own pocket than I ever have before. I feel like Peter Pan begging for people to clap for Tinker Bell. I know people are out there but the magic is fading. Is teaching 9th grade always like this?

Sorry Virginia.....

2007-12-28T14:38:00.000-06:00

My Christmas story begins way back in February as I braved traffic jams from Richardson all the way through Allen three times a week as HOV lanes were constructed to improve Central Expressway/75. Not just any old HOV lane but a special HOV lane with what looks like miles of picket fence w/o the crossbar. Using my amazing powers of foresight I came to a quick opinion and prediction. Boy, that's stupid, how many of those pickets are going to get blasted to Kingdom-come every day and who will be stupid enough to get stuck in a lane where you are basically trapped in case of an accident or breakdown. My Christmas story picks up the Friday before Christmas as the 100 Farmers family attempted to leave on our trip to Grandmother's house across the Red River, over the Arbuckle Mountains, through the Ouachita Forest and into Stillwater we go. Yo ho. Here's where my amazing powers of foresight proved true as the "one day opened" HOV became a dammed(or should I say DAMNED) river of cars causing a 35 mile trail out of Dallas to last almost two hours. My powers of common sense must have been blocked by my other powers though because I was one of the idiots stuck in the HOV lane in Richardson. We sat and sat and watched lucky cars with one passenger whiz by. I wanted to believe in the powers of TxDoT during the Christmas season but the facts are hard to ignore. Sorry Virginia, the spirit of mass transportation does not exist here in Dallas.

2007-12-24T21:09:00.000-06:00

Go and listen as Uncle Jay Explains the year in review - In Song!

I'll post the video as soon as it comes out on YouTube.

No words

2007-12-23T20:28:00.000-06:00

http://www.dallasnews.com/s/dws/photography/2007/bottomline/

100 Farmers has croaked her last today

2007-12-17T19:56:00.000-06:00

I have four days left to wrap up Latin America. We need some serious discussion over Immigration, NAFTA, and Deforestation. I have interactive, tell what you've heard and speak your mind group activities to finish out this semester before we slink back to DEAD week and finals. The problem. I HAVE NO VOICE!!!!!! Every croaking sound that escapes my lips ends up closing my throat even tighter into a narrow straw of pain. Do we have any witch doctors or magic workers out there? I have tried everything today. Help, Help, help, croak!

It's Wunderbar

2007-12-15T11:18:00.001-06:00

We did a Unit over North America a couple of weeks ago and I played a lovely little video to illustrate Globalization and Americanization. After initially accusing me of making up the word Americanization, my classes now praise me as a supercool teacher who is one with Rammstein. I can also dangle the video like a prize at the end of class if we are completed with work. Unfortunately my daughter keeps walking around the house howling, "We all live in Amerika, it's Wunderbar!" in a large gruff voice over and over and over again. It is driving us crazy. I personally think it's wunderbar .
Amerika

Can you hear me now?

2007-12-11T21:00:00.000-06:00

I have been feeling the need to clarify something with myself. I realized that my biggest issue this year is that I am so disappointed in quite a few of my kids. You know those kids who just don't try? Who might show up on time if at all two or three times a week. Who walk in the door empty handed and spend most of the class time avoiding any type of educational experience. Who laugh like loons at everything and make fun of everyone. Who jump up and want to fight at every imagined slight. I have a lot of those and I mean a lot. I am just not sure how to balance "the concerned, try to save these kids" teacher that I have been with "the get on with it and focus on those that want to be saved teacher" I probably need to be right now. I want so much for these kids to be successful and to GET IT. To walk out my door with some instance of "AH-ha or OH, I get it". Unfortunately, I have walked out the door too many days feeling like I was carrying the weight of the world from trying to solve too many issues that existed way before I got there. I am trying to focus on teaching creatively right now but maintaining professional sanity with the class that makes my stomach hurt. I haven't given up on those kids but I'm writing the referrals to save those that don't deserve that kind of behavior in the middle of their education. I feel like I am compromising something in myself a little but I am enjoying my kids more and I am hearing voices I haven't heard from much. No, not the funny ones in my head. The quiet voices trapped in the rabble of my classroom.

For those of us who never seem to learn

2007-12-08T16:12:00.000-06:00

http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=9644

Beam me up

2007-12-06T17:59:00.000-06:00

Have decided since I can't quit right now and haven't won the Texas Lottery yet, then my only logical solution to escaping this wretch of a school year is alien abduction. Have gotten five new students this week. Not a single one is coming in with a passing grade in Geography. One got into a screaming match with a boy across the room on day two and another didn't bother to go to school in October or the last two days. My seating chart is now theoretical. Theoretically I have these students but have not actually seen some of them enough to recognize them. In an ironic twist, I am actually proud of my lesson plans and teaching this week. I am whipped however. I am sure that I can handle an alien abduction though. I already certainly feeling probed.

Motivate this

2007-11-30T18:26:00.000-06:00

You know your class is really too large and loud when you don't even notice a big bearded man standing in your room. Subconsciously I probably assumed it was my next new student relocating from Juvie. Anyway, I politely asked him if I could help him and he said that he was checking safety details. Unlike Mister Teacher, I have my room highlighted on my fire escape plan so I was feeling pretty good. Wonder if the guy noticed that it's accidentally inverted and has my kids heading to the custodial closet? Guess not. After perusing my various escape plans taped to my door, he then asked me if I had any motivational posters to instruct students on how to act appropriately towards each other. WHAT? Huh? How does that tie into safety details? Oh darn, I forgot to put up the hanging kitty poster that says, "Be nice, don't call your neighbor a fat cow when she doesn't let you borrow a pencil for the 2,000th time." Luckily the security guy hadn't been in the room to hear that exchange earlier in the day. I looked around my room at the various word wall displays, maps, time lines, giant statue of liberty, calendars, student work and posted TEKS objective and then pointed at my class rules. I'm afraid my expectations of human behavior in the classroom are just going to have to suffice. I just haven't seen that classroom poster that says "Shut up and be nice" yet.

Heaven in a bag

2007-11-29T17:36:00.000-06:00

On my way home today I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Standing at the corner near my house was a man holding a 5-foot longish pole completely covered in packages of multicolored cotton candy. There had to have been at least twenty bags on that stick. Don't know where he was going or why in the world he was walking through my neighborhood with so much sugar goodness but it sure made me happy. How can a world with cotton candy be bad? Forget all the guys pushing their ice cream carts with bags of chicharrones. I'll be supporting the cotton candy dude from now on.

And Now On a Lighter Note

2007-11-21T10:07:00.001-06:00

Lost

2007-11-19T19:10:00.000-06:00

The past three years have really been rough for me education-wise. My neighborhood school full of people I respected and cared for was basically run into the ground by what can only be described as a unqualified, vindictive, paranoid, and possibly mentally ill principal. Last year I was offered the chance to escape to a school with some of the people I had worked with and promises of a great new position and a caring exciting principal. Within weeks, the cracks started showing in the facade of that school as deja vu set in. Paranoid rantings, personal attacks against teachers in front of the entire staff, yelling at teachers in front of their classes, moving teachers and staff randomly w/o thought to what best for students and the school because of perceived opinions she thought people had against her. The level of meanness there was sickening to your soul. Way too much like the first principal with 2/3 of the staff planning to leave by January. This year I've got administration who are there if I send someone to them but so hidden in the building that they have no effect except as reactive. I feel lost and don't know how to fix myself. There is nothing to go back to but I can't see the future either. I spent today in a great staff development and felt inspired as an educator but feel sick at the idea of going back into the classroom next Monday. How do I find myself again?

Run away, run away!!!!

2007-11-16T21:03:00.001-06:00

My mentor told me yesterday that I should start early looking for another job because I really should get out of our school. He said that he can't put up with it anymore. Great. I was really just hoping to borrow some Atlases. Good motivational speech there. As if I hadn't figured that out from the first two weeks of school. To top it off, one of the attendance ladies called me during my last class to yell at me because I suggested in an ARD review that her daughter was having trouble adjusting to high school. This is the same lady who writes excuse passes so her daughter shows up late to my room all the time. How do I handle this one? Want to email my principal but really just feel like running away to hide in a cave for a while.

My Buddha has been blown up

2007-11-11T16:58:00.000-06:00

I just haven't been up to blogging. In the past two weeks, I have dealt with so many outrageous behavioral issues in my classes that it is difficult to remember at times that I am an experienced intelligent teacher who knows the common sense ways of dealing with students issues. I am positively overwhelmed. The only modicum of relief is that all of us dealing with the 9th graders are on a slow simmer right now because of the rising issues with disrespect, defiance and thuggery. We are talking about it and organizing. I have also received 12 new students this past week and lost two. My classes are bursting at the seams. If too many students drop PreAP at the end of the semester, I will literally be teaching with students flowing out my door. My latest student announced to the class in the first two minutes that I will need to meet his probation officer. I couldn't help myself. I actually gave him two thumbs up and told him that I couldn't wait. When my department meets and the AP teachers complain about grading papers, I want to throw spit balls at them and tell them at least they got someone to turn something in. My classes are so removed from the PreAP and AP classes. They have no idea what idea my Gen Ed/Inclusion/ESL/just released from Juvie classes are like. I am at a loss to predict what the future will hold for some of these kids. I'd say a third have no idea what basic social manners and skills are required for every day living. I am not exaggerating either. I can say I am honestly trying as hard as I can. I make a point of saying hello to each student every class period and trying to make contact in some meaningful educational way. The kicker is that my head and heart are at odds right now. Some of those kids I am trying to help are responsible for beating up and trying to rob my son and his friend last night at the DART station at Park Lane. Don't know who personally but could probably find out. I am a little scared to go to school tomorrow. I am afraid I've lost something important in myself or that I'm filled with some simmering darkness that might spill out. I feel like my giant inner core of peace has been shattered just like the Taliban blowing up the Buddhas in Afghanistan. Five days until Thanksgiving break, five days until Thanksgiving break.