She Ain't Going Nowhere?

She Ain't going Nowhere

Standin' on the gone side of leavin'.
She found a thumb and stuck it in the breeze.
She'll take anything that's goin' close to somewhere.
She can lay it down and live it like she'd please

She ain't goin' nowhere, she's just leavin'.
She ain't goin' nowhere she can't breathe in.
And she ain't goin' home, and that's for sure.

She's not sitting and cryin' on her suitcase.
She has no second thoughts by the road.
But she's feelins than need some reparin'.
And she did not give a damn that it showed.
Guy Clark

My family moved to Big D back when Plano was actually a separate town. I have had a love/hate relationship with it ever since. In my heart of hearts, I have always thought of that teeny tiny town that we came from as HOME. I have been toying with the idea of moving back home-ish for years now. Of course, it's not really home anymore. Housing developments have popped up everywhere and all of the farm land and rolling hills have for sale signs on them. My grandparents have a small house on a huge lot but in an area that is becoming the wrong side of town. The schools are much better than they were and things are much quieter. For now. My kids are in good schools here. Separate schools. One in a magnet and the other in an elementary across the lake because our neighborhood school doesn't cut the mustard. Our neighborhood is good though with a rec center around the corner. I can only afford to rent and not actually own here though. What is the problem? I feel like going home again. Or just leaving. I feel as lost as I did as a 10 year old. I don't know if I can bear to come back to this district another year. It's not the teaching and it's not the kids but the combined issues, politics and policies of Big D have become more than I can handle. I don't know if I can leave my kids in this district while I teach somewhere else and I'm afraid to take them someplace else where they might fall behind. The next six weeks are going to be very interesting. I almost think that having the choice to move now is harder than being forced to move back then.