Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Can you hear me now?
I have been feeling the need to clarify something with myself. I realized that my biggest issue this year is that I am so disappointed in quite a few of my kids. You know those kids who just don't try? Who might show up on time if at all two or three times a week. Who walk in the door empty handed and spend most of the class time avoiding any type of educational experience. Who laugh like loons at everything and make fun of everyone. Who jump up and want to fight at every imagined slight. I have a lot of those and I mean a lot. I am just not sure how to balance "the concerned, try to save these kids" teacher that I have been with "the get on with it and focus on those that want to be saved teacher" I probably need to be right now. I want so much for these kids to be successful and to GET IT. To walk out my door with some instance of "AH-ha or OH, I get it". Unfortunately, I have walked out the door too many days feeling like I was carrying the weight of the world from trying to solve too many issues that existed way before I got there. I am trying to focus on teaching creatively right now but maintaining professional sanity with the class that makes my stomach hurt. I haven't given up on those kids but I'm writing the referrals to save those that don't deserve that kind of behavior in the middle of their education. I feel like I am compromising something in myself a little but I am enjoying my kids more and I am hearing voices I haven't heard from much. No, not the funny ones in my head. The quiet voices trapped in the rabble of my classroom.