Monday, November 19, 2007


The past three years have really been rough for me education-wise. My neighborhood school full of people I respected and cared for was basically run into the ground by what can only be described as a unqualified, vindictive, paranoid, and possibly mentally ill principal. Last year I was offered the chance to escape to a school with some of the people I had worked with and promises of a great new position and a caring exciting principal. Within weeks, the cracks started showing in the facade of that school as deja vu set in. Paranoid rantings, personal attacks against teachers in front of the entire staff, yelling at teachers in front of their classes, moving teachers and staff randomly w/o thought to what best for students and the school because of perceived opinions she thought people had against her. The level of meanness there was sickening to your soul. Way too much like the first principal with 2/3 of the staff planning to leave by January. This year I've got administration who are there if I send someone to them but so hidden in the building that they have no effect except as reactive. I feel lost and don't know how to fix myself. There is nothing to go back to but I can't see the future either. I spent today in a great staff development and felt inspired as an educator but feel sick at the idea of going back into the classroom next Monday. How do I find myself again?


ms. whatsit said...

If you can, get out of town for the holiday. Forget about Monday for now and enjoy yourself. Be good to yourself. Talk to someone you trust.

Monday will come, but you don't have to carry its burden all week. Perhaps the rest will give you perspective. The problems won't go away, but by allowing yourself the time and distance apart from your toxic environment, you might accidentally catch a glimpse of what step you'd like to take next.

Hang in there, dear. *Hugs*

CaliforniaTeacherGuy said...

Ms. Whatsit has given some excellent advice. I hope you can take it, especially these two parts: (1) Forget about Monday, enjoy yourself; and (2) Think about next steps.

Somehow I think you will not be stepping out of education, but it does sound as though you will need to step out of your current environment. Start planning your exit now. Look for another school--maybe even in another state. Sometimes all it takes for us to regain our perspective and our self-confidence is to put a hundred--or a thousand--miles between ourselves and the disaster in which we currently find ourselves enmeshed. You may not be able to leave immediately, but you can certainly plan your exit, so that when the time comes you're ready to go.

Good luck. And have a wonder-filled Thanksgiving!

Ms. V. said...

Oh my. Do you work at my school? I'm in almost the exact situation. What I've done is realize that my ideals cannot be met at my current school.

1. Take care of yourself.
2. See #1.

Hang in there.